Well spent Monday

A good day today =D

I managed to meet Guanting this afternoon for some girly time tgt and food. I miss this girl very much even though I met her not very long ago. 6 yrs..and we're the same..still laughing our asses off whenever we start talking. There is always something funny going on. This girl was asking me about what I intend to specialise in and I was telling her my current plan. And for some reason, we started talking about faeces..gosh..we're gross. I was telling her how important faeces are, and jokingly said that since no one seems to wanna specialise in it, I shall be the 1st..claiming the reputation of being the world's first Faeceologist (pronounced as fee-cee-yor-lor-gist). There she went laughing till her muscles were aching. The waiters at the restaurant were also wondering what are we laughing insanely over.

It was KTV session with Mervyn and his pals in the evening. I had fun! I wanna go to KTV so badly, and am so happy when Mervyn asked me if I care to have a KTV session with him.=D

He called Gabriel, Wei Zhong (we call him Bao cos his buddy is called Kong Ba) along, and Merv's ex, Jovail, said she wanna join us too (she's a KTV queen). Mervyn doesn't like her, and I wonder why. He kept saying she's irritating..hahaha. And he kept telling us to choose more songs before she comes, or else she'll end up being the only one singing the entire night...lol.

They can REALLY sing! Gabriel sounded like Phil Chang, Mervyn's got a clear voice, and Jovail's voice is similar to Selena of S.H.E.! I did not sing a lot a lot, but I still had a great time...the keropok snatching, laughing over how disgusting Fei Xiang's actions are in one of his MTVs, appreciating Ah Mei's strong vocals, discussing abt Jay's MTV, singing "Tuo Diao" very loudly, giving stupid comments like "Ni mei you na ge Grooove".."Ni mei you gan dong dao wo".."Ma dian..ma dian..", them acting like my fans, searching for iDesire's theme song by Zhang Fei, etc. I will remember this outing. I have no idea when I will get to see them again after today since he'll be going to NS very very soon. I will miss him.

These few days have been wonderful. I smile when I lie on my bed every night. As I'm typing how happy I have been now, my tears are starting to roll..haha...silly me. I am extremely touched and this is making me sad abt having to leave so soon. One of my ex-students from Manjusri Sec, June, contacted me recently as she was wondering how I've been since we lost contacted each other a long time ago. I am happy that she still remembers me and concerned abt my wellbeing.

I was even more touched when I knew how many people wanna go see me off at the airport this time, and I was almost gonna cry when my sec sch clan said that they are most willing to see me off when I am leaving for UK, and meet me at the airport whenever I come back for holidays...so I don't have to worry abt troubling them..and don't be shy to let them know when I'm ard.

Seriously, will u cry if u hear this? I can't believe my friends are willing to do this for me....really... I must go to the temple to thank the Gods for this tmr. I feel so blessed and loved. =)

Happy Birthday Tony!!!!

Another chalet outing today..yippee! I had TREMENDOUS fun today. I'm sure I'm gonna miss such outings when I leave.

It was Tony's birthday. A slight disappointment that a few didn't turn up due to other commitments, but the consoling part was that I got to meet most of my sec sch clan again. It's difficult to get everyone together now that everyone's either busy working, studying or overseas! I love this bunch and we just can't stop bringing back those fond memories we had in BVSS. I'm sure they are wishing time could just stop then. It was the happiest time in my education life so far.

Thanks to Tony for the buffet lunch at a Jap restaurant in Downtown East. The food wasn't very good, but there was a pretty big range of food to choose from. Besides, it was the company which mattered most today isn't it?

A group photo before we headed to his chalet room:

(L to R: Yiping, Shumin, Jolene, Hock Soon, Tony, Victor, Me)

And this was what happened soon after we went into the room...
Awwwwwwww.....Shumin all cuddled up under the blanket and about to go to sleep. =)

As Yiping's gotta rush to a pal's house, we decided to get Tony to cut the cake she baked first. I am impressed..haha..Yiping can bake cakes! The Banana and Cranberry cake tasted good! Huiquan missed the cake-cutting session though since he arrived late.

How can we ever forget alcohol on a joyous occasion like this? In effort to finish up the Jack Daniels which Tony got, we decided to play cards, and make the loser drink. Victor was really insane today. He kept luffing so much at others, but at the final round....HE LOST!!!!!! Muahahahahahahahaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!

The time for revenge came....heheheheeh....


Hahahahaa...the digusting drink containing Jack Daniels (lots of it), Vanilla Mudshake (has alcohol), Root Beer, Coke & White Tea!!!

Now you see it....



Now you don't! =D

We had a very very good game of Monopoly after that. It's the first time I ever had so much fun playing board games. Initially, we were aiming to prevent others from owning land of the same colour group, then when the land was more or less sold out, we started trading with one another by charging exorbitant prices and doing sales talk. And because I felt bullied that Hock Soon was helping Jolene and Tony helping Shumin, I made noise and decided to ask Victor to form a joint account with me..haha. Oh my did it shock the rest..and when they saw that Vic and I became richer and owning the whole stretch of Tanglin Road to Queen Astrid Park, they decided to gang up together. Gosh...it was then they started killing us with their massive building of hotels everywhere..and not long after, Vic and I had to declare bankrupt since we only had $1 left after paying all the rentals. What the....grrr...haha.

Photo time after that! (Sorry for the blur pics...something's very wrong with phot0-taking today)





It was crazy water bombing time, and it was fun watching Hock Soon, Jolene, Tony and Huiquan wacking each other with plastic bags containing water..and when that wasn't enough..they even brought out cups.

Since Vic and I were supposed to be safe since I'm holding onto the camera, we decided to play around with it, hoping to solve the blur pic problem (which failed miserably). Here are some rubbish we took..
Shumin feeling bored and left out... Me and my act cute pose...
Victor the muscle man...hahahahaha (he's famous for his hot bod in our clan)
Say cccccchhhhhhheeeeeeeeessssssseeeeee~~~~~~......
Just when we felt that it was odd that the rest are missing..we decided to hunt around for them..and we found Huiquan waiting innocently outside the room..

Tsk tsk..don't be deceived by Huiquan's innocent looks..

Manz...I knew the 2 of them weren't some decent beings. So much for Miss Peh's "Huiquan is the angelic student of the class". Gays in action..I don't think I wanna know what's beneath that blanket...hur hur..

Have we had enough? Hmm..I don't think so.

ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girls are always aiming to keep their image..
Aiyo! I just ruined my image..haha (like as if I have any to begin with)
Tony all shagged out (what the hell is Huiquan trying to do?)
Ok. My favourite time...hehe..present opening!!! We bought him...

A wallet...
And a pair of boxers..(drawings done by Victor & Jolene)..sheesh..check out that erected dick of Tony's....WAHAHAHA...(there's a water bottle beneath it lah..wat u thinking manz..)

The night ended with a bit of food at McDonalds. More chatting, but on more serious issues like University. Manz..am pretty excited that Tony's gonna join me for studies in UK this year...YAY!!! One more person to find when I go to down to London. Damn wasted that this guy accepted London's offer too quickly..or else he would be joining me in Cardiff already (yeah..he's regretting at the moment..lol).

Naughty me

Muahaha...I just came home!

Had a relaxing meet up with Ruilai after dinner. Since I was brain dead pretty much throughout the night, I just sat in his car and enjoy the night drive around Singapore.

Went up to one part in Mt. Faber which I've never been to before, and I was quite scared. I mean..hello..it's the 7th mth..and it's all quiet and very dark. Even had to try to convince Ruilai not to go to the toilet cos I didn't wanna be left waiting alone in the dark for him.

Then off we went to Singapore's darkest carpark in East Coast..haha. What an insight! Indeed, it was like what Ruilai describe...the couple in the cars are all well prepared with newspapers and all. There were quite a few cars driving around with headlights off, hoping to watch some free RA show. I wasn't into watching RA, but more of having some mischief up my sleeves and told Ruilai abt my evil plan which he said must be turned into reality...*evil laugh*

So there he went driving back to the same place..find a car which has newspapers covered all over the window..and....guess what I did?

I opened the window when his car got nearer to our target, and used the umbrella to knock on the back of car to make some noise. =D I bet the couple inside must have got a shock...hahahaha.

We also drove around the clubbing areas cos I wanted to go to places with lots and lots of people, but what a disappointment...there wasn't much crowd at all. Nothing to see either.

Anyway, thanks for the evening Ruilai. You did help cheer me up =)

$#^&^%$&$#@%$!^%@!

FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PUI PUI PUI!!!!

Wanna know how my oh-so-perfect Saturday dinner ended with my parents?! It ended up with MY COUSIN being the topic! BAH! WTF!

And if that's not enough, I got them saying I'm unapproachable...ALL BECAUSE OF MY COUSIN! Will she bloody please not get me into any kind of unhappiness and shit?!

For the past few days my Mum has been going on about her receiving some LKY Book Prize. And today, she went on to how my poor thing my cousin is coping with medical lectures given by China and Indian lecturers...about her not understanding..making her sound like as if she's the only one in Uni having problems. Don't I have Indian lecturers from India too? In fact, the hospitals in UK are filled with 80% Indians! And who in Uni only relies on understanding lectures to get through? Pls lor...there is this thing called reference books.

Then came Mum telling me that Granny (YES...GRANNY AGAIN!!!!) is asking on behalf of my cousin for my lecture notes..and saying my cousin dun dare to call to disturb me, dun dare to this..dun dare to that. And before I could say anything...Mum said this...

"Aiyah! You are very unapproachable lah..that's why she don't dare to call u!"

Got my blood boil on the spot manz! My fault now?! If she doesn't have the guts to ask, it's my fault? If she thinks I'm unapproachable which probably I am, then why ask me no?

First, I'm asked to do a favour, and before I decide to do anything, I have to endure getting scolded and then be all smiles again and eagerly carrying out "orders"? Do I look any bit like an idiot to you huh?!

My notes are my sweat and blood. How many hours did I spend writing them out and how much pain I spent on them. And now that someone wants my notes, I have to give and get scolded before that?

Forget it manz! I'll willingly lend anyone my notes, but for this case, I will not. Call me selfish, and I will not care. It's not about being selfish anyway. I'm just not pleased having to be scolded for no apparent reason and because of her again. I will NOT give in.

And...

TO HELL WITH OBLIGATIONS!!!!

A joyous party cum meet up

2001..

I was a relief teacher in Chung Cheng High (Branch), handling notorious upp sec sch kids who bombard me with endless questions abt my personal life. And there was no rules in my classes. They had all the freedom to do things they want as long as I didn't think they went overboard.

2005..

I am remembered as being once their relief teacher and a friend. This is one thing I feel really happy and proud of. Never did I expect them to remember me. Never did I expect them to look for me again after we lost contact for a while. Never did I expect myself to be invited to join their party.

My Friday would have been totally horrible if it weren't for this bday party I was invited to tonight. It was Reuben's (one of my ex-students) 20th bday. Happy bday to this boy =)

At the party, I finally met Reuben and Mervyn (another ex student who is pretty close to me).

It's shocking to see how much they have grown. They were just young, skinny and small-sized boys when I first knew them in class. But now, they are all tanned, fit and looking more like a guy. These 2 boys are going to NS very soon, and I'm sure they will do their best in there..in fact, they're pretty positive abt it at the moment which is good. Reuben's happily attached to a nice girl, Grace.

I'm happy to see this lovely couple together. And I am really impressed with how serious Reuben is about his rship and he's already aiming to marry her in about 4-5 yrs' time.

I'm so honoured to be able to try Mervyn's marinated chicken. It's super yummy..2 thumbs up for it!!!! Hmm...the result of going to SHATEC..haha.

The big moment was cake-blowing time.

(Wah liew...u see that 2 happy face.....envious or not?!?!?!? Basket! %^#%^@)
These people were damn onz. They sang bday songs in english, mandarin and cantonese SO LOUDLY. It created such a wonderful atmosphere. I never had this before..

And not forgetting, cake smashing on the bday boy. Fortunately, I was spared since I had the boys to protect me from harm. The guys were practically running around and smashing each other with cake, satay sauce, tomato ketchup and even chilli sauce. When those were used up, they started using coke, and all the leftover food. It was disgusting, but it was so fun watching them yelling, screaming and running around. I felt old even though I was only 3 yrs older. Never did I have such a crazy party before and I was really wondering why I didn't have the energy and fun like these 20 yr olds when I was their age. What was I doing then? I regret going through those days with very few memories. I don't even recall having a big celebration with my friends in a chalet, screaming and having fun.

Our group photo for the evening =D

************

I was very upset for a while today too. It ruined my mood the entire day until I went to Reuben's party. Here I've got Reuben & Mervyn who is sincere enough to maintain our friendship, and putting effort. And here I've got another friend whom I thought is worth keeping as a pretty good friend, but disappointed me thoroughly.

I am trying very hard to accomodate time to meet up with as many people as I can before I leave, and knowing that time is very limited, I made an effort to try to keep my promise to meet up with this person. But all I got was our date being postphoned twice. And it is pissing when nothing is ever confirmed until last minute, which resulted in me having to waste so much time just to wait for this person and having to reject those who are sincerely wanting to see me. I had enough. It just shows how much the person treasures our friendship. I shall not bother to ask this person out anymore. I do not see why I have to msg her time and time again abt our meetup, making me look like as if I am DESPERATE to have someone out with me. Don't waste my time. Since our friendship isn't worth much to you, it is not worth wasting too much of my time on you as well. I tolerated, I tried to understand and I think things are getting too far. And...don't complain about you losing your friends...you brought it upon yourself.

Da Chang Jin

How amazing that there is a midi of the theme song of "Da Chang Jin", the Korean drama which has cause a massive Korean wave to sweep throughout Asia and got numerous hooked to it. I love this song...feels so Asian.. =D

I personally quite like this show and am currently left with watching the last few episodes. I made Mum watch it as well..and she's hooked to it and watching it for hours everyday.

I have to admit that the show isn't interesting throughout, and in fact, I did fall asleep at times while watching. The only thing that got me curious abt this show was because it involves medicine (chinese one though). However, since the actor is SO YANDAO, that makes it one more good reason to watch it :X

I didn't get to remember all the medical bits (looks like I must watch it a few times before I master all the facts), but I was very amazed by certain practical procedures such as patient examination. The way Chinese physicians do their examination is pretty similar to the way Western physicians examine their patients e.g. pulse, face colour, hands etc. Hence, it was a bit of revision for me there. The most fascinating part was about pulses. In med sch, I'm taught to take pulses and fully describe it in terms of rate, rhythm, volume, character, etc. But that will only assist me in making a few differential diagnoses, but Chinese physicians are able to make an almost accurate diagnosis just by doing this.

Actually, I have been pretty fascinated with how diagnoses are made this way even before I applied for med sch. I felt that it'll be great if I was equipped with skills from both sides. I will then be able to diagnoses problems faster and more accurately...and if Western medicine doesn't make my patient well..I'll seek Chinese medicine as the alternative. In fact, Chinese herbs might be even better for treating patients as there'll be less side effects than chemical drugs! Learning Chinese medicine (self-learning or pursuing a degree) is definite one option I will be giving myself after I finish my MBBCh.

There are a few doctors who are actually equipped with skills of both chinese and western medicine in Sg. Dad's friend visited one, and she told me that he's a fantastic doctor. She gave us his namecard and the first thing I did was check out his qualifications..haha. Hmm..indeed he's got a basic med degree from Sg and a master's degree from Nanjing for TCM! It'll be an eye opener if I knew him and am able to sit through clinics with him for a period of time. I'm sure I will learn a lot :)

Talking abt this show..haha..I guess I can understand why Grandaunt's sooooo hooked to it too. Her childhood ambition was to be a doctor who can combine chinese and western med together. I'm sure it was because she was fascinated by Great Grandpa's doings. He wasn't a licensed physician, but Grandaunt told me before that he taught himself Chinese medicine, and he actually used his knowledge to brew medicine and cured a few people. If only he was alive, I'll make him teach me...ahaha..

Feel so much better =)

The cold war between my parents are over. Now only the guys in the family are in the midst of the war. Hope it will be over soon. The improvement has made me quite pleased.

As I haven't been feeling very well over several issues (today's issue included), I have been trying to make myself better by doing things to my appearance...hheheeehe.

Hair (I'm a salon fan now)

Had my hair dyed and highlighted at Raffles City last week. It's now copper in colour with goldish highlights. I was very very tempted to try a lighter shade, but held back the idea when I remember that I gotto look decent enough to be on ward rounds. My hair got very dry after that. A treatment is a MUST!

Walked into a salon in Roxy Square 2 a few days later (1st time there) which looked messy. The lady got me to try this treatment product from Japan which she claimed to be the best in the market. And for my hair length, it was only $60...woohoo..what a bargain. And I am all praise for this treatment I did. My hair came out so much softer!

The lady then went on to blow dry my hair. She could guess very well what type of curls I love and decided to use a different method to curl my hair rather than just blow drying my permed curls. A hair straightener (those for rebonding) was what she used. The BIG "WOW" came when I saw how she curled my hair with a suppose-to-be hair straightener!!! My eyes really widened and I was shocked at what this wonderful tool can do to me. The curls are so natural and springy now!!

Clothes

Wore the new accessories and clothes I bought. I realise I'm a pretty stingy person. I adore so many clothes, but I don't buy them most of the time even if the price is reasonable. Good in a way cos I get to save $$$..the bad thing is I'm always wearing the same stuff. :( I'm tempted to just go out and buy plenty of new clothes though...aahaha..then I can say BYE to my old and boring clothes.

Make up

I bought a new concealer & compact loose powder from M.A.C. and have been trying them out these few days. Not bad =) And since I went to Orchard on Tues, I put mascara, blusher and lip gloss too. No eye shadow cos I'm not good at it...sob sob. But I do love having SAs trying out eye shadows on me..hehehehe. Sigh...I reckon I'll be an eye shadow fan if only I can do eye make up well.

More on clothes

Hhaha..I went mix matching clothes which I have not worn for years and those Mum bought for me from HK. I also took out all my earrings, necklaces, and bags and try to match them with the clothes. It was very fun, except having to put everything back to its original place after I'm done. Hehhee...managed to match quite a number of stuffs together. Yay...at least for the time being, I don't have to think so much about what to wear the next time I go out already...yippeeee...!!!!!

LOL...I've been sooooo vain hor? *blush*

Bogged..

The past few days were pretty miserable. I was very troubled and frustrated. I tried tolerating, or just walk away, but today I lost my temper.

It's dangerous to drive on the roads when u're in a bad mood, and this happened this afternoon. I wasn't feeling very well from what was happening these days, and snapped at my Mum when she went yelling in the car when the car went too near a parked truck. Got a huge scolding from her, and I totally lost my appetite...skipped lunch.

My family's having a big cold war with one another...refusing to talk to each other, refusing to do anything together, refusing to do anything for each other, etc. And here I am being messenger, and having to search for missing members even during shopping just because my parents are walking in different directions. I was terribly pissed, but I couldn't even say anything in hope that I will not make matters worse. But the entire day, I was with my family..watching them ignore each other, or yelling at each other at the top of their voices, and hearing about someone who walked out of the house and not wanting to go home and sleep for the night. In fact, my entire weekend was spent this way.

And apart from that, I was bogged down by my own problems. Something I did was very disappointing. I wanna say "Sorry", but I dare not even say it. I can't tell anyone in my family about it too.

A few days ago, it was Great Granny's death anniversary. I was asked by Dad to go and pray to her. Cos of that, I felt extremely troubled. It wasn't because I didn't wanna go to the temple to pray to Great Granny, but because I dare not face my Uncle's tablet if I were to go since it's a routine that I will have to pray to all my other late relatives whose tablets are placed there.

Those incidents regarding my cousin has caused this. How I felt threatened abt "losing" my own parents, how my mum got into major quarrels with me over her, how I tried to avoid anything to do with her as much as I can, etc etc.....makes me feel that I don't deserve to be acknowledged as his niece. Yet knowing this, my getting-uglier-day-by-day nature refuses to give in. I cannot forget, I cannot pretend that nothing has happened, I cannot accept it all with a smile on account tt she's my cousin...I just cannot. Hence, on the day of the prayer, I refused to get out of bed. I'm sure Dad's disappointed and angry that I rather sleep than pay my respects to Great Granny. I'm sad cos I have to make Dad think this is the reason, rather than letting him or anyone in my family know the truth.

Also, I have been asking a few friends about what they thought of me meeting up with a friend before I go back to UK. I'm surprised..yet not surprised..about how fragile relationships between friends are. "Heck care" was what I was advised to do. A friendship that has formed for years....does it just end in a snap? For this friendship, I feel all sorts of emotions for it, I know everything has changed and will never be the same again, but deep down, I know I have treasured it. I don't know if following the advice from others this time is the right thing to do. There are pros and cons for any final decision I make, but I don't know which decision will benefit my friend in the long run. For this, I am troubled.

I hope most of the "rubbish" will resolve soon. I really don't wish to bring my current troubled, disappointed and mentally exhausted mood back to UK..

Eyes playing tricks

I was in the salon having my hair dyed until I saw someone from the mirror's reflection. I thought it was him.

I was shocked, and for a minute, my heart was beating damn fast. And if it weren't because there was someone doing my hair, I'm sure I would have ran out of the salon immediately.

But I was disappointed when this guy's reflection became clearer as he walked past. I saw the wrong person and my heart sank on the spot.

Heat expansion

Me: Ay boy ah..why your lips getting thicker and thicker ah?

Bro: Who say? It's kissable lips ok..*gives the kissing pose*

Me: Yucks. But really..it's getting thicker..

Bro: It absorbs heat from the sun, so now it's of a darker shade..

Me: I don't mean the colour..I mean the thickness. Looking more and more like sausage.

Bro: Yah. It's darker colour now, so absorb more heat. Then it expands..that's why my lips got thicker..

Me: *lol*

Bro: U know why eskimos are short?

Me: Why?

Bro: Cos their place is too cold..so they all shrink. Then do you know why Negros are tall?

Me: Why?

Bro: Cos their place very hot. So, their skin colour's black and absorbs heat. That's why they all expand under the heat..

Me: *lol*

Bro: You know why ppl who live in hot countries fall sick after they come back from cold countries?

Me: Because...

Bro: Because when they come back here..very hot..then all their internal organs expand...and when their body can't accomodate their expanded organs..they all fall ill..

Me: *speechless*

Maybe this is what I was actually looking for..

A good 1.5 hours' bus ride from NUS to my place is fantastic for thoughts.

Today, I thought about myself being seen and commented as "a girl who needs no one around her" and what was THE THING which I was really looking for in a guy and wanting to have it ever since I decided to take relationships seriously , but not being discovered by myself yet.

And I think...I have got the answer....

If I didn't remember wrongly, I told Clayton the things I expect in a guy. And we do agree that I'm choosy...haha. Not because I expect a bungalow, a Ferrari, and a filthy rich prominent family, but because of the very basic things I want. It really is basic..but because it's so basic..we often don't realise the value, importance and beauty of it all.

But above all that, I only realise the BIG thing I was actually looking for today: Someone whom I can say "I'm tired of being the way I always am. Can I take a rest on your shoulder please?" to and allowing me to do so, and when I'm resting, I know deep down in my heart that I'll be very very safe. Sounds cheem? I can't think of a simpler way of putting it.

I told Ruilai about it a while ago, and amazingly he understood what I meant even though we're not very very close friends. He asked, "Have you found him yet?". I gave it some thought and honestly, I didn't know how to answer. To a certain extent, I think...I did find him, but somehow..when I was thrown aside to handle everything I went through for him alone while he just left me physically, mentally and emotionally without a word....I think I was wrong abt it all.

Anyway, finally realising the answer to my thought does show me some light. Not that I'm looking for a hubby or wat...just that it has answered a question I have been wondering about at times.

Car ride

It's my first time having my whole family in my rented car, with me in control of the steering wheel. Had to pick my brother up from school, and Dad was to be my "supervisor" for the night. I was quite surprised when Mum actually said she wanna go for car ride too, when she's got a huge phobia after a serious car accident my family had once.

Am so pleased Dad gave me 7-8/10 and praised me for improving so much compared to the last time I drove his Merz, which was like a very long time ago. I made some mistakes which Dad commented on. Shall try to change them.

This afternoon, I went for a spin alone again, with a plan to practise my lousy parking skills. But couldn't find a proper place (the parallel parked cars all had drivers in them!). So off I went to Changi Airport, and met a nasty driver on the roads. Gotta admit it's my fault since I wanted to change lane suddenly, and sorta insisted on having to change. For that, I deserve to be horned by the taxi behind, but I didn't think I deserved continuous horning, continuous light flashing and having him challenge me by speeding up, so that I'll be squeezed out of his way and crash into a curb ahead. And he continued with it even after I got into his lane. It did scare me, but it did piss me off too. What's wrong with some people? What's the problem with giving way? It's just slowing down isn't it? And I did meet some stupid guys who like horning at me for no reason from the next lane just because I'm a female driver. These ppl too free manz..

Also, I met another taxi driver who suddenly stopped his car to pick up a passenger who came out of a sudden. Goodness...fortunately I braked in time.

And there was also an ah pek who just came out from no where and walked across the road when all the cars were moving off after seeing the green light. The car before me nearly knocked into him. That driver's a P plate...it must have scared him out of his wits. What an inconsiderate ah pek..he could jolly well wait to cross the road at the pedestrain crossing which was like 15 metres away. *shakes head*

Kinda regret driving at the peak hours manz. It's scary watching how the cars around u speed and cut lanes the way they like it.

Girly time together

Met up with the 'Animal family' (Moo, Mother Duck, Cat) for dinner at Annalakshmi. This Indian restaurant is different from others because there is no menu pricing, meaning..u can order whatever you want from the menu, and pay how much you feel like for the meal. Cool huh? It's a good thing the curry wasn't spicy at all, and dinner was filling. The food's not bad too.

As usual, there'll be laughter, crapping, some gossipping, complaining etc. And I'm feeling really pleased to understand more about Christianity from Ruoying and Si'en this evening (nope, it wasn't some brain washing session tonight..it was PURELY a dinner meet-up). Though Huishan and I are of a different religion from the both of them, I'm sure neither of us felt very put off by the whole issue..at least not for me. Hmm...was it the way Ruoying explained it which didn't make me discontented and irritated?

I drove the rented manual car today. I do feel a bit frightened on the roads initially, which sort of eased off a little at a later stage. But I think my parking sucks. I am still not confident enough and VERY VERY worried I'll ram into the car next to me, face embarrassment of not being able to park properly, ram into something behind the car, etc. Also, damn worried I'll get into some accident (CHOI! TOUCH WOOD!). Very tempted to try driving to the city, but I'm not extremely familiar with the roads, plus heavy traffic isn't gonna help.

It's gotta be more practice for me tomorrow. I gotta try to overcome every little fear in me (but I'm still scared leh.. :X) and make sure I become fully confident of my driving ability.

Shark's fins treat

Yum...haven't had that for a long time..hehe..and I'm so happy that I managed to have my fill of shark's fins, fish maw and claypot vermicelli just now at Thai's Village. So satisfying..

Thanks Kor for the treat! I'm still feeling bad cos the dinner was costly tonight..

Plus, I had free transport too..in Kor's nice white sports car :) Feels damn shiok making the car go topless and enjoying the night breeze.

I had desserts with him at Haagan Daaz too. Again, I had the same thing..yummy macadamia nut ice cream, chocolate chocolate chip, chocolate sauce & roasted almond nibs.

Really enjoyed myself tonight.

Kor, let's make the next treat mine ok? I don't wanna have u accumulating all the receipts and "kill" me during ONE dinner when I start working.

Michelle made a card!

Shocked to know that lazy Michelle made a card?

I would be still growing mushrooms on myself if it weren't because my brother was desperate to get his pop-up card done for presentation & because I didn't want poor Daddy to stay up the entire night figuring how to get the card done.

I went sourcing from the internet about how to do a pop-up card, briefly glanced through it and started to act cool by going "COME! Let me do it. No problem manz! Dad, u better go rest. I'll get it done." You bet Dad was so pleased.

Spent hours making the card and I was so delighted when it was completed. So proud of my own handmade creation...

The front..

And...

TADAHHHHHHH~~~~~~~~

Hee..nice?! It cheered me up tremendously for some strange reason. I think it's the bright colours and the tulips.. :)

Torned between being selfish & helpful

Just admit it, I'm not gonna be good enuff no matter how hard I ever try.

Whenever this happens, I have to try so hard to forget what I heard, and tell myself endlessly to ignore ignore IGNORE. I have feelings too, and I do have times when I feel very lousy abt myself. Things do get sensitive then.

Why do you have to talk abt which family members got a scholarship or did well enuff to fight for one? From young, I was never as bright as them. I tried, but I failed to be as good. Finally got into Medicine, I thought I can at least save some face for myself, but I was oh so wrong! Even if I were to be a doctor one day, I'll NEVER be good enuff..never be someone u'll talk abt feeling consoled and proud of. In this family, what's the big deal of becoming a doctor? What's the big deal abt being a scholar? It's such a norm isn't it?!

Also, as the day goes, I feel uglier and uglier as a person. Perhaps I just can't stand hearing her name one more time. Perhaps I can't stand hearing you mentioning time and time again about her plight which looks as if I am obligated to do everything for her.

Why do I have to spend hours researching and so much pocket money of mine to buy my own medical books when she doesn't have to, but having Granny to come ask me (hence, making me super guilty when I give some excuses)? And worse, when I told u my dilemma abt giving for free and selling it to her at a big loss (like $10 for a book which I bought for close to $100), I had to see your black face, get scolded by you, hearing "it" again, being seen as selfish etc. I regretted completely for telling u.

I admit I'm selfish since I can jolly well be such a saint by giving her my most expensive books for free on acct that we're blood related. But the thing is WHY do I always have to work to build my own foundation, and what others have to do is use what I have built? They might be just books, but how much time, effort and money have I spent when I didn't even have a booklist to begin with or any relatives in Medicine who are willing to help? I don't feel good in any bit being this way too, and neither do I feel good having to be made use of all the time.

And it's good that she passed her driving test for the 1st time, but didn't I too? Why do u have to keep saying it again and again, emphasising the 1st time? And when I passed, nobody talked about it. But when she did, every single family member is talking abt it like as if nobody done it before.

Also, why are relatives only interested in how my medical curriculum and my days in the dissection room is like after she got into medicine? Was anyone that interested 5 years ago?

My uncle will be damn disappointed in the way I am now, and to be honest, I have no idea how I'm gonna face him if I have to go to the temple to pay my respects to him one day.

Trust me, if things didn't become this way, I wouldn't wanna be like that today too.

Come, traumatise me more!

Thrice today!

First, it was someone telling me what his 1st impression of me was when he got to know me. It was...I must be a havoc person who's a big time clubber, plus I look like the sort who will put on very thick make up. *pengz*

Michelle a big time clubber? I admit I went to clubs n pubs before, but my 10 fingers are more than enough to count the total number of times I been to one ever since years ago.

Thick make up? I don't apply the whole cake on my face either. My foundation always expires before I use half of it. Light yes, but thick...nahz..

The worse thing is he's not the first who thinks I must be a clubbing queen. Someone I knew in UK who knew I was attached then once told me his imagination of my bf must be a chiongster with spiky hair, leather jacket and driving a sports car since I look like a chiongster myself. Wah liew..since when I ever got attached to such a person?

I don't think I look like a chiongster manz, and I'm sure my other buddies will agree with me. Hor?

Second, another friend saw my baby pic on MSN and went "Hey, is that u? I didn't expect u to be cute when u were a baby". -.-

Manz, what was that supposed to mean ha? I'm not cute now, but am I that bad till one will think I was never cute ever since I was born. Erm..actually I was called "Ugly" from the day I was borned (even my Mum said I'm ugly), so............sigh!!!!!! Can u imagine how it would have broken my tiny fragile heart if I knew abt what ppl ard me said abt my looks before I could even talk and walk?

Third, the same person who saw my baby pic said I'm gonna be a preserved flower when I told him I'm withering soon since girls have limited youth. Aiyo....fair enuff that I'm gonna be left on the shelf, but is there a need to say I'm a preserved flower? "Preserved" sounds so....old and wrinkled...and caught between being alive (fresh flower) and dead (withered one).

Very mean right these ppl? :( Wah liew....

Check this book out!

I thought it was a crazy joke when Pinsoon went "Hey, wanna buy my book?".

I was expecting some 2nd hand medical books which he wanted to sell to me, until I was given the Love Clinic website. Having this little fear that it was a virus link, I still managed to be gutsy enuff to click on it. To my surprise, it really IS about a book, and Pinsoon is one of the co-authors..hahaha.

I was extremely amused at what these 3 medical students are doing writing about love instead of something related to their specialty.

In order to show some support to him, I decided to purchase a copy and was so paiseh about it when I met him to collect the book, because I was worried ppl might think I'm a despo having to check out such books.

It was a rarity having able to meet up with Mr Busy. A simple coffee session at Taka with lots of views shared about our own perspectives involving rships (revolved ard his book manz). Some of his views were somewhat different from mine (not surprising!!!!), but it made sense, and I was pleased having to hear about his thoughts abt it. Looks like his friends and him did a lot of research into this topic.

I read his book last night and this afternoon. It was a very easy read, and I can really see the amount of effort put into getting this book published.

It wasn't soooo much abt the content which amused me, but more about how it was written "medically". Medical students will somehow go "Hey...THIS sounds familiar...". Now I see why Pinsoon was saying abt it being written in the "medical" way. Gosh...the perks we get.

I'm sure this book will help guys realise their not-so-desirable- points, and what girls really want from them. As Pinsoon claims "Guys are blockheads!". We, girls, definitely can't deny that, can we? (Then again, girls are very troublesome creatures too)

I guess what the 3 Love Gods has written can be regarded as a very general rule. I must specify that it doesn't work for every girl though. Reading a book isn't just reading a book.

Curious people might wanna go check it out, or perhaps you might have already attended their talks a few days ago at Orchard Library, NTU or NUS!

Costs $15 if I'm not wrong. Not too expensive if u are dying to learn a trick or two, or just for light reading purposes. Guys, you might juz get your gf this way since it's about HOW TO LOSE YOUR BACHELOR'S DEGREE.

No guarantees from me that it will work ok? If it doesn't work...hahahahaa...go find Pinsoon!!!! *lol*

Marriage

If I got the right person from reading Si'en's blog, one of my ex-classmates is getting married at the end of this year. We used to be pretty close, but for some reason, our friendship ended and till today, I do not know why. Anyway, I feel really happy for her and I sincerely give her my blessings.

Watching my friends getting attached and heading towards marriage or have already got married makes me feel happy for them, envious and at the same time, confused. Happy because they have found someone whom they feel they are willing to spend their whole life with and their better half feels the same. Envious because...I do not have it, and somehow, I'm curious to find out what this "happiness" is like. Confused because before I can find out what this is all about, I've heard so much..seen so much...till I wonder if that is what I should define as part of one's happiness.

Maybe the time isn't right, maybe there will never be a time, maybe marriage is because it allows 2 ppl to live and love each other eternally legally, maybe marriage is the end of the love and the beginning of a new nightmare, maybe I'm not good enuff to secure my rships, maybe others think I'm not a girl to be taken seriously, maybe I'm thinking too much. Maybe..maybe. It just goes on and on.

It is only right if I get married off one day and have kids. And if I were to have a mind of a traditional Chinese girl, I should be hoping that this day will come fast.

However, the tough part arises. Part of me wants to stay the traditional way of carrying out the duty of a female by getting married and nurture the next generation. Yet the other part of me is different. I'm afraid, unwilling to go beyond the barrier I've decided to build in order to protect myself, trying my very best & forcing myself to cast all thoughts of rship and marriage aside and focus on nothing but Medicine, trying to convince myself constantly that unmarried women can also get their share of happiness using their own ability, money, strength and power...and that is something to be very proud of. I know some are gonna think "Money can't buy happiness"..well..I'm not saying that that thought is wrong, but it's very subjective. Money can buy happiness in a way actually.

Anyway, at times I wish I was borned in a family that will match make me with someone they think is good and marry me off when I'm of a suitable age. But more often than ever these days, I wish I can totally rid every little thought abt getting married so that I'll never think of rships and marriage again, and stay focus on only things that are of great importance to my own future.