Selling my youth to the hospital
Sigh..it's one of the rare occasions where I get to sit down and blog.
I should be enjoying myself like the other youngsters out there, having gatherings with friends, having a nice cup of tea, going shopping, and of course, dressing up like all females my age do.
However, here I am selling my youth away to the hospital, and becoming a slave for $$$. Sigh. That's life of a doctor. And no matter how tired and pissed off u r, u can never finish with clearing cases, since the pile keeps coming.
Like every Monday, A&E becomes a madder madhouse. But today has gone madder than usual. It was a nightmare trying to clear cases in the non-fever clinic area, and just when I was relieved that the cases are finally clearing, I got sent to the fever area, and when I entered the fever zone, I was welcomed by a whole swarm of patients and their relatives standing everywhere. There's hardly place to walk. And pity those who r really ill, and can't even find a seat to seat down and rest.
And there in the consultation room was a thick pile awaiting to be cleared. Frustration comes when u've finally cleared them, to find that another pile is being thrown into the slot again.
That's my life everyday in A&E. And the only perk is the thought of getting my hard-earned pay at the end of the month.
Gone were the days where I still get to think abt meeting my friends, or even go on a date. Weekends have become almost non-existent, and something u even have to specially request for.
I really miss my friends, and there's really quite a number whom I do want to meet. One of which is my long-time buddy, Lemon. Haven't met her for yrs, and it's very sad that I rarely get to talk to her anymore. Just sent her a belated bday greeting a while ago, and honestly, I'm feeling very guilty abt it.
Can't rem when was the last time I had a proper date with Dearie as well.
Attended a wedding on Saturday, and the guests who were ard my age were all happily mingling with their friends. I did feel pretty much out of place, not just because I was with my parents attending this family wedding, but I felt as if I was in a completely different world from these young guests. Everyone was having a great time chatting with one another, getting intoxicated, laughing etc, whilst I was sitting there wondering what time will the dinner end since I've got to get up early for work the next day, when my nxt day off will be, what should I choose for my next posting, when will I get my nxt pay, and when will I be able to pay my first installment for my nest.
What the hell...
The Chinese Doctor
11:13 PM
Needing a holiday...
Lots have happened within this 1 month. Both work and personal. Most of which, very upsetting and disappointing.
These issues are accumulating by the day, and it is slowly becoming a struggle to move on.
I need a break.
I am craving to go somewhere to do whatever pleases me, be totally uncontactable and to get some peaceful sleep. Forget abt ED. Forget abt patients. Forget abt everything.
Sometimes, I really wish I can lose my memory, so that I can start my life anew..
The Chinese Doctor
3:03 PM
Fever zone
What a crazy start to my night duty on a Sunday!
Am assigned to the Fever Zone..the zone where no docs wanna be in, simply because it's always understaffed for strange reasons.
And my misery got worse when there's a sudden surge of patients into the Fever zone and I'm at war alone in this isolated area. Bleah.
Apologies to those who got pissed off after such a long wait and decided to cancel registration and seek professional help elsewhere. I was really trying my best to see the patients as quickly as I can, PLUS running from fever to non-fever zone countless times (and note that I have to gown up in PPE each time I enter the Fever area, and degown whenever I leave..grrr) because of attention-seeking people.
Looks like I'm not the only one in this shit since my nurses and seniors were also wondering what curse was cast on the department today for having this insane surge of patients on a Sunday.
Sunday nights are when a number of NS guys will start streaming in with whatever complaint they can come up with. I seriously do not think that every NS guy is "chao keng", but with the number of black sheeps around, somehow, as emergency physicians, we can't help but wonder at the back of our minds if it's just one of those acts whenever we know someone is from NS. And strangely, most of them come with their parents - something I can never understand because they're old enough to tell the docs what's wrong with them and aren't that ill that they need parents to come along with them. I'm mean, but it does entertain me a lot when I start speaking very sternly to them with bits of sarcasm when I know for sure that the patient in front of me is a malingerer. And true enough, once I go "You don't need a MC", the patient absconds IMMEDIATELY. Funny huh..
Ok..enuff for tonight. Got called to help out in non-fever areas already...ffffff...gotta degown again...fffff...
The Chinese Doctor
2:57 AM
"Life in ED" - ED meaning Emergency Dept
Life in ED is...
1. Working till u dont know when it's day or night until u walk out of the hospital to either find the sun still shining, or the stars twinkling
2. Forgetting the days of the week since weekends r no longer weekends
3. Knowing your friends in other departments are in the hospital, but so near, yet so far
4. Knowing your fellow comrades r ard, but yet feel like u're at war alone
5. Watching "live acting" so dramatic that makes u wonder why life is so unfair that Zhang Ziyi is an international star when these oscar-winning talented individuals never got noticed by Director Zhang Yi Mou
6. Calming down relatives who finds u ever too slow for them, and completely ignoring the fact that there's so many patients, and so few of us (with stethoscopes)
7. Forget abt food...the hospital food supplied to us sux
8. Full stop to family life, and needless to say, social life (pity those who r dating ED doctors)
9. Entertaining patients who complains of pain for years and suddenly woke up one morning and thought.."Hmm..maybe I shall see a doc today"
10. Seeing so many sprains and fractures from falls, accidents etc, until u can't help but wonder why people can't walk properly and why can't people drive safely
11. Entertaining patients who basically just needs to exaggerate abt their symptoms, so that they can have more attention frm their family
12. Entertaining patients who tries to find something wrong with themselves just to be admitted simply because their better half is being admitted into hospital (i.e. lonely at home)
13. Losing it when the patient comes into ED all the time complaining of the same problem again n again, but non-compliant to the meds prescribed to treat their problem
14. Listening to patient's whines abt their symptoms, and when u have a plan for them, they decide to forgo all investigations and refuse all medications (wtf do they even come in for huh?)
15. Informing educated nutcases that Panadol can be bought in supermarkets without a prescription
16. Informing educated nutcases that there is this place called a Polyclinic/GP Practice where medications can be obtained from, and where minor problems can be seen
17. Entertaining crazy people who actually comes to a non-mental hospital to tell u they r mental and ask u to refer them for admission into IMH (why didn't they go to IMH in the first place?)
18. Having patients who tell u they got diarrhoea only once, and now has resolved (what do u want me to do then?)
19. Calming down patients who went a bit hysterical, thinking they've got cancer the moment they see some blood somewhere, or have some pain somewhere
20. Calming down patients who fears needles so much that they start yelling in pain the moment something touches their skin....and that can mean even an alcohol swab
And the rubbish can go on.
Yup, one week + in ED, and I spend most of my time with the above...
Plus I'm totally drained from the mad roster hrs and early lectures. Hopefully life will get a bit better after the formal teaching sessions...at least I'll get to sleep more.
The Chinese Doctor
11:32 PM
Changeover
Brand new start in a brand new area from tmr. The long-awaited department I have been dreaming abt and of course, extremely curious about - A&E.
Wonder what it'll be like. I'm just hoping that things will go smooth for me *crosses fingers*. Just had a look at my roster, and true enuff, my upcoming weekends will be burnt badly. And what's worse....I'm rostered for critical care consecutively for a few days. "Nice" -.-
Hopefully I'll have some time to share my experiences online when I get my ass there.
Will miss my old colleagues definitely, and it's really sad that I'm gonna be somewhat "isolated" from the rest of the world since I'm supposed to sleep, shit and eat only in A&E.
The Chinese Doctor
11:36 PM
Another wedding
Just came back home after attending a wedding. It was a great opportunity catching up with my old time friends whom I've not met for quite some time, but I think I've become much quieter than before. Maybe it's because it's been a long while since I've last met them.
People ard me are slowly getting married, which makes me wonder when mine will be. Honestly, I do wish to settle down quickly so that I can get on with my life, so that I can put full concentration into other things.
But....oh well..*shrugs*
The Chinese Doctor
12:22 AM
Feels great sitting down in front of the laptop, blogging and blasting Utada Hikaru's "Come Back to Me".
First heard this song when I was in Heeren HMV during one of my very very rare evening hangouts. I got a tad curious when I saw how engrossed Dearie was listening to some music and seemed to be enjoying it a lot. "Hmm..must be something good", I thought to myself, while I was enjoying the "Little Nyonya" main theme song on some new CD. So after he's done, I went to be a KPO and oh boy, was I impressed!
Anyway, work's been busy. Yeah yeah..nothing new. And once again, I'm fatigued from consecutive weekend duty and on calls.
Just when I thought I can happily hop into A&E, MOH barred all MOs to changeover, so I'm still currently stuck in a medical ward. Good and bad actually. Good because suddenly, I am getting worried since I'm not good at certain specialties and I really need to do some reading, plus I do love my current colleagues a lot. Bad because I still have to do medical calls. Sigh.
With the "swine flu" alert going on, rounding is becoming more and more painful with the masks. And here I am trying hard to discharge patients, there I get more patients coming in to fill up my beds. Argh! WHY?! R people still wanting to be admitted at this point of time?
The Chinese Doctor
6:32 PM
