It's a learning process

That's what I am going to use to console myself.

I'm still the baby of the medical team, and hence, there is a limit to what I know. I felt pretty down about this today, because I had to seek senior's opinion for the numerous times I was bleeped about prescribing medications. There are so many things which the nurses expect me to know and do, but unfortunately, the medical school didn't train us to that extent whereby we can just decide the drug dosages and make adjustments. Besides, we baby doctors have been warned by the Medical Director a few days ago to stay away from things we were not trained to do in medical school and seek help from our seniors instead.

But anyway, my senior taught me how to alter warfarin dosages today, so I managed to prescribe the dosages of that drug for some patients today. And I was briefly taught how to assess if a patient needs fluids. I'm still not confident at that yet, but will try and ask my seniors to teach me when possible.

I had moments of homesickness today. I miss Dearie as well. I guess it's partly due to fatigue since I have been working for 26 hours non-stop since yesterday, and feeling helpless despite being a doctor. There were a few times I had no idea what the diagnosis is for a patient. And it does pain me a little when I have to draw blood from the elderly patients. They're the really frail ones, but also one of the nicest around (some r grumpy though, but after coaxing them and chatting with them, they'll liven up and be nicer). I know how much they dread it when they need blood tests, and I'll always try my very best to make sure I am successful in taking their blood so that I'll not have to try again.

Had this lovely little old lady who had poor veins and the nurses and doctors think she's difficult to put a needle in. She was quite worked up when she knew I wanted to stick needles into her, but after much coaxing and chatting, she decided to let me have a go. I was making her tell me stories while I was putting the needle in, in attempt to try and create some distraction for her. It took me 2 attempts to succeed, but I was so relieved that I managed to put the line in. She told me it didn't hurt that much, and I hope she wasn't lying to make me feel happy.

Sigh...

Suddenly, I realise that I have so much things which I have to revise to refresh my memory. But sheesh, haven't even had much time to really relax, needless to say sit down and study. I am so wishing to go for a relaxing walk. Dearie said we'll spend a night in Cardiff when he comes back, and he'll cook me nice dinners. I'm definitely looking forward to that. I'll make him nice dinners too, since I can hardly go anywhere for dinner in this place I'm working. I've been so busy that I've yet to even explore the town!

Oh..Dearie has got his results for one of his exams. A high score of 94% for his OCP!!!! Isn't that impressive??!?!?! My jaws literally dropped when he announced it to me. I'm so proud of him!!! Hopefully this certification will get him a good job here in UK, then at least I'll get to see him more. I don't like being far away from when I'm already so used to having him close to me for some time.