Housewife

Dearie's got a part time job a few evenings a week, so during those nights, I'll be sitting quietly at home waiting for his return from work.

It's only a few hours of separation when he leaves the house, but I still feel uneasy about the fact that he's not by my side. Looks like his presence does have a huge impact on me, and my independence level has unknowingly plunged to the bottom. I can't describe the joy I get whenever I hear the main door open and then seeing Dearie bringing back supper. Being hugged by him the moment he returns home makes me feel loved and cared for too.

Been occupying myself with revision, and the solid few hours of work without any form of distraction is doing me quite a lot of good. I've been really hardworking today, by the way.

Quite a while since I last blogged. Can't blame me though since there isn't much going on in my life here. U'll know it if u're studying here. It's no wonder why ppl get depressed in this place.

Several updates anyway.

1. ALS Course

Had a weekend burnt from it, and that course was freaking tiring. We started at 8.15-8.30, and it didn't end till about 6-6.30pm. It was hardcore, and because there was so much to cover over 2 days, timing was kept very strict, to the extent whereby u can even find urself having a 15 min lunch. I couldn't even finish my cup of hot tea before the next teaching session. But it was all worth while after I got my certificate, which will allow me to manage cardiac arrests in future. I'm also trained to use the defibrillator and CPR, which is all so exciting (yet scary!). The drugs was a pain to master though, and under the intense pressure the examiners put u under for the exam the 2nd day, u can get into a fluster and go blank.

Took a few pics and a video of cows on my way back using my pretty pink Sony Ericsson z610i which I got for free a few mths back. It's kinda funny having cows crossing the road as they were on their way back to the farm after an entire day of eating grass. Wanted to upload it here, but kinda lazy to do so at the moment. The video's kinda noisy too since my coursemates were teasing the cows a lot in the car while I was videoing.

2. Injured knee and thigh

I will not let that person off for causing this injury to me. It's not something major, but it was definitely something which can be avoided if he hadn't been an arse. I had only 3 minutes before my train departs, and with about 5 people queueing up at the fast track ticket machine (fast track it is indeed..but still..it takes time what!), there's a huge chance that I'll miss my train when I still have to make time to walk down the passageway and run up the stairs to the platform. I kindly went to ask the gate keeper if he can let me through since I'm gonna run late and I can buy the ticket on board the train. "No, I'm not letting you through unless u buy a ticket" was the answer I got. Couldn't be bothered to argue with him, because getting the train was my priority, so I went to queue up, and had to run down the passageway cos of that. Fell and injured my knee and thigh as a result since I was literally flat on the ground. It was really painful, but I just tolerated with it and limped into the train.

It did made me fume for quite some time on the train because I saw no reason to why that gate keeper had to make my life difficult, when I had a valid reason. Besides, there is always a conductor on board who will check if everyone's got a train ticket, and if u don't, u can buy one from him. Yet he refused, and I had to run and fall as a result. Plus it was quite a nasty fall I tell ya, cos my thigh and knee swelled, and till now, it's still bruising very badly. Took photos of it too since I'm planning to lodge a complaint about this matter. Call me a bitch, since some might think it's a minor issue, but to me, it isn't because I shall not tolerate anyone trying to bully me thinking that I will not dare to resist.

I guess my years here have just made me more outspoken in terms of arguing for my right when I need to. I don't do it all the time, and I must say that my mood that particular day has a great influence on the actions I take against someone.

I remember being in a Jap restaurant once in Singapore with a grumpy teen waiter/waitress. I was in a pretty good mood that evening, but because of his/her grumpiness, it ruined my mood and this was what came out of my mouth when he was serving us in a unwilling manner...

Me: If working is that miserable, then I think it's better to resign and go home. Makes life better and happier for the employee and for the employer..

Mum: Don't say that lah..maybe people having a bad day (sometimes my mum is just so understanding)

Me: Fair enuff. But that's not my problem isn't it? We are here forking out the money for a happy and good dinner, not here to see someone's face.

Then there's another incident in UK, which kinda shocked CG as well as the other diners in the steamboat restaurant (count that manager suay that day cos I'm usually nice when i'm there, but i was in a foul mood that evening after a bad day in the hospital, and any slightest thing would have irritated me loads...and of all days...it had to be a problem that particular day). Because I was in a bad mood, I needed to indulge in lots of food to cool myself down, and the only thing I looked forward to was to devour as much fishballs and wanton as I can during my evening steamboat dinner, but there was none available that evening AND what pissed me was...I wasn't even informed abt it by the staff. This was how the conversation went roughly...

Me (halfway through dinner): Can I request for fishballs and wanton please? I marked on the sheet that I wanted it, but it was left out from the basket.

Waiter: Sorry. No fishballs and wanton today.

Me: Why?

Waiter: No supply.

Me: That's not right. I'm not going to pay full price for tonight's dinner then if that's the case.

Waiter: Errrr....I can't handle this for you. Would you like to speak to the Manager instead?

Me: Yes. I'll speak to him..

Manager: I heard that there's a problem here..

Me: Yes. I was telling your waiter that I will not pay full price for tonight's dinner.

Manager: Is there a reason?

Me: I requested for fishballs and wanton, and I was told by your waiter that they're not available.

Manager: Apparently, it's a Bank holiday weekend, and there was a match during then too. Hence, there was a lot of people who had dinner here, and we didn't expect to run out of supply.

Me: But then again, if the staff knew that there were certain items not being available today, they could have informed me before I started my dinner, because if I knew those items were unavailable, I would have gone somewhere else for dinner. And knowing that it's the Bank holiday weekend plus a match, it is expected that there will be a crowd, and the restaurant should have forseen that and increase the supply to cope with it.

Manager: It's just 2 items being unavailable..you can still have the unlimited meat slices and vegetables..

Me: Yes, but I'm not going to pay the same price for unlimited supply of mostly vegetables and noodles. Items being unavailable due to the bank holiday and match is a problem of your restaurant, not mine. I am here paying a price for my buffet dinner, and therefore, it is only right that your restaurant supplies me with the items I have requested for, and if your restaurant is unable to do that, I should have been informed even before I start my dinner. I see no reason to why I should pay full price when it's a fault of your restaurant, and no way am I paying for tonight's service charge as well.

I did get quite a few shocked looks from diners around us, but I couldn't care less. Got a discount plus having the service charge waived too. And guess what? The restaurant had to give the other diners a discount for that night too after the complaint I made.

3. My brother

A big congrats to him for his excellent grades in Poly. It's a pity I can't attend his graduation, but I still share his joy despite being miles away. He's got his Diploma with Merit for Product and Industrial Design, as well as the Gold Medal for being top in his course. 3 years in there hasn't been easy for him, and I'm glad that his years of hardwork has finally paid off. Being a long time problematic student, my parents' visit to the school this time is indeed the extreme end of the usual coffee session with his teacher/principal.

His profile:
http://www-des.tp.edu.sg/des_home/des_alumni/des_grad07_portfolio/des_grad07_pid/des_grad07_phua_wei_qiang_frederick_profile.htm

Have got lots of pics of his projects (yup, he actually drew those posters up himself and made those items into life size models), but shall not be posting them up here.

Am also proud of my bro for being asked to go for the RSAF selection test. Results won't be out till about 4 weeks later, but hopefully, he'll make it in. Dearie's cheering him on too.

Oh..and of course, not forgetting to congratulate his gf as well for graduating together with him :)


Shucks, I've spent too much time blogging today...

Lack of sleep = Bad mood

Michelle is grumpy today from having a lack of sleep. I reckon I must have only dozed off at 6am this morning and had to get up at 8, which didn't happen and I ended up getting up at 8.30am instead to be in time for teaching.

I hate myself for not going to bed earlier, but I just couldn't sleep at all. I was disturbed by an argument I had with CG last night which just happened randomly and totally unexpected. There were several phone slams, and total silence, which obviously resulted in a bad night for me. As usual, each time after an argument we have, I start wondering if this relationship, which is not on the rocks or kinda on the rocks, is worth us keeping it going. I'm not wanting to head towards a break up, but sometimes, everything comes together and me, feeling helpless about it all, it simply makes me wanna think twice.

I blame myself for sounding blunt in putting my messages across, and I know this is a bad point about me. I don't like beating around the bush because I don't fancy wasting my time on it and not getting someone to understand exactly what I want to say, and at the same time, I don't like ppl beating ard the bush either. It does get on my nerves, and I don't hide it very well when I am irritated, which is kinda bad too.

Apparently, the argument is partially my fault since I was blunt in my comments, but I don't feel very much appreciated either when I give my views about a certain situation as advice to my bf or try to say things nicely so that he can look at the downside more positively and then, get things like "It's ok if u don't support me, but at least don't put me down further". I know that at times, some things I say don't sound nice, but how nice can I make it sound if I don't think it's right? And it wasn't meant to put him down, even though I can see his point of saying so. Plus I think it's unfair and unjustifiable for him to say that I am not giving him any support. I did!

I agree that I do not know how he feels whenever he loses an opportunity to be in the UK with me next year, but I don't feel very much happier too. He can't get on with his life, while I can't really get on with mine in peace too. But I'm trying very hard to get my priorities rights by putting it aside yet giving it sufficient attention. I am worried, I am desperate just like him, but despite all that, what can I actually do to make a difference, I really don't know. And knowing my own character, I get pissed off by the fact that when something happens, I can't find a solution or do nothing abt it. Yet I can't keep continuing getting pissed off abt it, and therefore, adopted a new policy of moving on to the next step rather than hindering myself from moving on which adds no benefit and is absolutely impractical and a waste of time.

Like I told him, if we have ruled out every possibility of him being here in the UK with me, then I'll just accept the fact that we'll have to go LDR. It is upsetting, but if that is the only choice, then I'll live with it. I'm not going to initiate a break up cos of that, but with the way we're going now, how confident can I be and how positive can I get about this rship to motivate me to keep us going? Sigh.

And also, several times, I feel that we're more like good friends rather than a couple. We don't behave like the other couples. We don't talk to each other like how other couples do too. And we don't go on dates or spring surprises on each other too, because he thinks there's nothing to do here in UK and don't see why I'm a fan of surprises. In simple words, we're DIFFERENT!

I'm going back to Cardiff tonight, and I should be excited since I've waited days to see him again, but now....all I want is just a good sleep, and pray hard that we won't get into a worse quarrel when I'm back in my flat tonight.

Can't stand DRAMA people..

Apparently, there has been MAJOR news (and when such news happen..it goes on and on and on) in the UK about House Officer (PRHO) aka Houseman (in Singapore) job applications, whereby our information (name, DOB, addy, tel number, etc) has been leaked out to the general public, whereby anyone can just go into the website and access our data and even our application forms.

And as expected *rolls eyes*, my email got flooded with numerous emails about this issue, with complaint letters sent to the Department of Health in the UK about this, medical students trying to "fight" for whatever they think should be fought for, BMA emails regarding the breach and in practically every email I receive, it's about how appalling this is etc etc etc. Tons of angmos are fretting over this, and making such a big hooha abt it that I find it totally ridiculous, and made me feel that they're better off doing something else than getting so occupied abt it.

I know I sound like some arse saying this, because they will argue for the fact that I am not concerned. I am, but not that exaggerated extent. I mean, it is a major issue that our info has been leaked, and this is wrong since we have our rights to confidentiality, but come on...what can u do abt it if it has already been leaked? The only way to looking at this problem is to solve it, and to do so, it doesn't have to look so drama does it?

But that is how it is like here. Anything that goes wrong will look more wrong than ever, especially with the media loving to blow matters up. Nothing better to do, I think...and definitely, I don't buy the "It is a BIG issue" crap. It is big, but it doesn't have to go on and on and on. It's news which unaffected people will forget with time, not one which u die die have to remember no?

Sigh..and that reminds me of how pissed off I got abt the 911 incident, which I know is major, but it got to a point whereby it's in the news so often that I can almost regurgitate the details of the news, simply because each time they air in on TV, be it wateva channel, they will be talking abt the same thing again and again. And then, they get sick of it, so they go on to Business news and perhaps some documentary for another hour, and then back to the news again abt the same major disaster, and then get sick of it..go back to Business news and the cycle continues for weeks. It made me wonder if there was nothing else to report about, and yes, even if the world was concerned, if there is no new updates, then just don't repeat what everyone already knows umpteen times. It pisses me off great time. And if that's not enough, when we walk anywhere, u hear people talking about it again, which made me wonder if they're really that concerned, or wanna be part of the "Talk of the town", or wanting to show that they're not some gullible person who reads nothing but Her World and FHM.

Fair enough if they have relatives being victims, because it is natural for them to keep talking abt it, and it is only right that we listen and give them support. But some people are just DRAMA. They will go on and on, telling everyone they bump into how they empathise with the victims like as if they were involved in it somehow. And then you get some fakos who will start crying or telling people ard them how they feel for victims of the Tsunami etc., and go on 24/7 about the disaster and practically playing news broadcaster. Gosh, I really think those people need to get a life abt it. If they're THAT concerned like what they think, DO SOMETHING ABT IT. Don't just sit there and cry, or do news broadcasting to prove that u care, simply because it is irritating. Go sign up with Red Cross if u don't want to donate money since u think u're concerned abt where it goes finally, but want to help out (hopefully) and not because u wanna take a step further by being there just so that u look like u're REALLY part of the drama series of "ER in Asia's Tsunami" which requires no film directors, but lots of filming crew who are more interested in filming their broadcaster and the situation, rather than filming these "extras". It's probably more worth it trying for TCS part-time acting just to see if u get a role of an emergency nurse/cleaner/crying relative/patient in the corner watching quarrels (which hardly anyone notices since they'll rather have their eyes fixed of Fann Wong) if u wanna be on TV, and the bonus is u can paid (I heard it's pathetic though) and it's something u can add to your CV if u think it's something u're proud of or relevant (e.g. desire to become the next Gong Li).

Or IF that's not "groundbreaking" enough for these drama pests, then maybe try being an "extra" in Hollywood! Notice how many extra people there are in American movies? There is always this thing abt American movies I noticed....whereby they will have some major argument scene between the main star and some other star, while surrounding them are a group of people of different races (there is always one chinese "extra" for wat reason I don't know...probably to show that US is multiracial? *shrugs*) watching the argument and looking like they're listening, or if u're lucky, u might even get the role of taking a step closer to the stars because u were asked by the Director to act as if u're there to try to stop the lead stars from fighting/quarrelling as requested on the script. Don't know how much US "extras" are paid, but at least u can put in the CV that u've been a Part-time Hollywood actor who starred in Mission Impossible 10 as the road sweeper who went "HEY!!!" with swearing hand signs at Tom Cruise who threw a vanilla ice cream cone out of his car window onto the road which u're cleaning (and the HR person who is reading your CV will have loads of question marks springing around her head cos she didn't notice you, but the sporty Lotus Tom Cruise was driving and dreaming that she's the sexy lead actress sitting next to him in that car when she watched that film).

Looks good, aint it (except for the HR bit)?!

I think I've digressed too much.

Back to the job application issue, I got an email from someone which I briefly read (can't be bothered to spend too much time reading into detail) and in there stated something like "the students are going through finals and this issue is causing a lot of stress to them". I had no idea why this confidentiality issue is stressful. At least it isn't causing me any stress. I'm more stressed abt finals than anything else at the moment.

And some people were concerned abt the issue abt "Sexual Preference" which is what we had to answer in the application form. It would be an issue if it was in an Asia where people are deemed to be more conservative, but here in the West, if u're gay, u admit u're gay. And I do know people who gladly announce that they're gay. What's the big deal abt admitting it? Gays are just guys who like guys, and like as if that makes any difference to patient care, unless patients start getting sensitive and stereotyping them as "People with HIV" after finding out that gays are more prone to STDs. Apart from that, what makes them different from anyone else? They eat, they sleep, they have sex (from another hole..but like as if some normal couples don't try anal), they shower. What's the problem?

Then there are some who are concerned abt bank stuffs, which is reasonable. But since the security has already been breeched, then just be more wary abt your banking details and account. It doesn't take a security breach to make u pay attention to it right?

Enough said. I'm basically too free today, resulting in this entry...haha.