Rough Patch
The journey remains rough, and I'm no less troubled...but of course, with a whole set of different problems.
Dear told me that I've been talking in my sleep again. Now, that's a sign that I'm under immense pressure.
I am. I don't deny it.
Family..career...money..housing...what's next...
Not only do I have to worry about myself, I have to worry for my husband and our families.
All I'm praying for is stability and that no more shit comes my way to mess up my already-very-messed-up life. The former seems tough at the moment...I guess as long as I don't sink and drown on this ship I'm currently on, it's considered a blessing. Shouldn't hope for more.
But one very important thing which took me ages to realise, and unfortunately will take me a little while to adapt, is to accept the fact that the world is ugly, and not every soul is supposed to be human like how I perceive every human being to be, unless proven otherwise. Everyone seems selfish, and no one ever bothers to watch out for one another anymore. Neither does anyone treat another being like how they wish to be treated anymore.
Life is already as tough as it can get, and I've always been puzzled at why anyone would want to make life even tougher. Things can be a lot better if everyone tries to make the environment a little bit happier/comfortable. But like what Dear used to say, the world is made up of billions, and not every human being thinks the same way I do.
Well, I'm not sure if I'm a dying breed, but I sure know that by questioning myself about why the world isn't the way I think it should be, isn't going to make my messed-up life any better. So the wise choice would probably be to accept it, adapt and move on. Sometimes, I wish I can just let the bitch in me go.
Sigh..
My mind's a disorganised mess at the moment, and it's starting to become a bit overwhelming. I suppose I should really try to find a nice quiet corner, slowly type down what's in my mind over a warm cup of hot chocolate, and try to organise it a little. Hopefully I'll be able to understand myself better, and make plans of how to solve them.
Consoling myself now that maybe it might not be as bad as what I think. Fingers crossed.
Dear told me that I've been talking in my sleep again. Now, that's a sign that I'm under immense pressure.
I am. I don't deny it.
Family..career...money..housing...what's next...
Not only do I have to worry about myself, I have to worry for my husband and our families.
All I'm praying for is stability and that no more shit comes my way to mess up my already-very-messed-up life. The former seems tough at the moment...I guess as long as I don't sink and drown on this ship I'm currently on, it's considered a blessing. Shouldn't hope for more.
But one very important thing which took me ages to realise, and unfortunately will take me a little while to adapt, is to accept the fact that the world is ugly, and not every soul is supposed to be human like how I perceive every human being to be, unless proven otherwise. Everyone seems selfish, and no one ever bothers to watch out for one another anymore. Neither does anyone treat another being like how they wish to be treated anymore.
Life is already as tough as it can get, and I've always been puzzled at why anyone would want to make life even tougher. Things can be a lot better if everyone tries to make the environment a little bit happier/comfortable. But like what Dear used to say, the world is made up of billions, and not every human being thinks the same way I do.
Well, I'm not sure if I'm a dying breed, but I sure know that by questioning myself about why the world isn't the way I think it should be, isn't going to make my messed-up life any better. So the wise choice would probably be to accept it, adapt and move on. Sometimes, I wish I can just let the bitch in me go.
Sigh..
My mind's a disorganised mess at the moment, and it's starting to become a bit overwhelming. I suppose I should really try to find a nice quiet corner, slowly type down what's in my mind over a warm cup of hot chocolate, and try to organise it a little. Hopefully I'll be able to understand myself better, and make plans of how to solve them.
Consoling myself now that maybe it might not be as bad as what I think. Fingers crossed.