This is so frustrating. I wish I can throw this whole entry right into your face to show u how fucking pissed off I am.

Been asking myself time and time again how am I going to live with you in the same place, in the same room in future when we have so much differences in our habits, and whenever I start making noise abt the bad habits you have which I absolutely hate and cannot tolerate, I know it's not going to be of any use.

Perhaps you didn't know, that THAT is the reason why I am totally against living in a studio with you. It isn't so much abt the rental, isn't soooo much abt my parent's objection, but more of the fact that I will DEFINITELY move out sooner or later with the things I cannot stand.

You probably think I'm the fussiest girl u have ever known, and the most troublesome one around, but I rather show u what I'm really am like, then to keep you happy by agreeing with every bad habit of yours and curse you like crazy behind.

To you, you might think it's a small matter, and there is no need to be so worked up over it, but should I intend to get a divorce in future because of these things, it's when u'll feel that it's too late to get rid of the causes. Ok, maybe I shouldn't think that far...I should say my decision to wanna get married to you (if u ever intend to marry me).

I CANNOT MARRY A GUY WHOM I CANNOT LIVE WITH, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO THE BATHROOM!

Don't give me the fucking crap that by wetting the floor, it will keep the bathroom cool. I'm not smart, but neither am I THAT stupid to buy such a senseless excuse.

And I had enough of you not even trying very hard to cheer me up whenever I am mad at you. It makes me wonder how much I mean to you. Don't tell me you love me, and how much you care, because I want to feel it for myself apart from hearing it from you. You don't actually realise how much u have changed in the way u try to cheer me up now. I can leave the flat and wander around in the streets aimlessly without even thinking u will come and look for me....do you know how disappointed abt these things I already am to even have such a thought? And when I'm still pissed off, u can still talk to me in an irritated tone and go ahead and sleep till the next morning. Go ask yourself if that is what a boyfriend should do, even if he's sleepy. Is this how u care for me?

Time isn't what I need to make me feel better about us. It only brings me more disappointment each time I cannot solve a problem with u, shatter my hopes of you being my boyfriend and make me think again if u're the one I want to live my life with. Only having problems resolved makes me happy. That is what I really want. Not presents, not coaxing!!!!!!

I am so hurt and disappointed, but nothing makes me feel worse to know that even if I were to pour my entire heart and soul out, nothing is going to change because at the end of the day, I'll still be seen as being troublesome, someone who throws tantrums for no apparent reason (when in the first place, if I tell u the reason, I'm ignored) and unreasonable.

It tires me out a lot trying so hard to solve differences between us so that I can feel confident enough to live the rest of my life with you. Please don't make me feel that my efforts are all going to waste, and that THIS is the main reason to why we're impossible. I don't want and don't wish to end this whole rship...and you know it...so don't push me towards that direction.