I can't get the thought of it out of my head and I blame myself for it. It all happened while watching a TV drama.

Although I think it's still better to say "Will u be my gf?" and get a "Yes" as an answer to confirm that the girl is your gf (I like things sparking clear!), a lot of couples don't. Instead, they drop signs like kissing the person. And if that person calls him/her out again on a date, then Bingo! They know they're together already.

I was watching this police drama with CG this evening, and I was commenting on how shocking it would be for the policeman to find out that his gf is the person who plans to murder him and ended up murdering his friend instead.

CG: Since when was she his gf?
Me: Isn't it obvious that they're together already?
CG: When?
Me: She kissed him in the car remember?! And he still happily met her during lunch time another day and got really happy when she said she'll cook lunch for him.
CG: Oh yah...then that's kinda counted..
Me: Hannor...!!!!

AND that instant, I remembered something and suddenly, I felt a deep sense of jealousy.

I remembered him telling me this girl he knew since pri sch kissing him and that was how he lost his first kiss. He doesn't like her, but I'm sure they still went out together (as friends) after that. If this is like the policeman's case, then doesn't that make her his first gf?

The moment I thought of that, I got really jealous.

I know to my boy, I'm his first gf, but I just hate knowing that there is this girl whom he doesn't like who kissed him by surprise..and the shitty thing is..it's ON HIS LIPS! ARGH!

I know I don't sound like the usual me, but seriously speaking, I don't understand why I am feeling so jealous over something that is as good as nothing. I dread the thought of girls having ideas on my boy or be daring enough to touch him.

Gosh, I can't believe that this is ME saying all that. I sound like some possessive (or am I already one?!) freak.