Wednesday
The day before the OSCE. I didn't know if I was worried or not. On one hand, I guess I was, on the other, I didn't think so. Anyway, am glad my boy accompanied me while I revised the entire week. And it was funny seeing his reaction when I requested to borrow his body for my revision. Hahaha..that silly boy was so worried and didn't know what I wanted to do with him. He thought I wanted to practise my needling skills on him, and initially rejected it. But when he knew it was only a check up I would do, he was MORE THAN WILLING to do it...hahahaha.
CG: When are u going to examine me?
Me: Aiyo..you've been asking me this question numerous times today. Are you too excited over it? Hahahaha...
CG: The doctors always make their patients fast for a few hours before they do checks on them, so I wanted to know. I thought maybe I have to fast so that you can check on me later. I want to be prepared for you.
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.....
How innocent was that?!?!?!?!?! I was laughing my lungs out.
So before I went to bed, he gladly kept his books away and happily sat there for me to examine. It was WEIRD to examine your own bf. And because I was so conscious of the way he looks at me, I couldn't do it initially.
We managed to get back to serious mode and I carried out my heart and lung examinations thoroughly on him. I forgot minor steps at some point, and he made me repeat the whole thing again and again. It was repeated till perfection. And he even helped to time me!
My boy was impressed with the way I carried out my examinations. He said I looked like a real doctor when I was doing my "job" seriously, and that did give me some encouragement.
I got slightly worried as I was laying in my bed. Kept having the steps recalling in my head endlessly, and I dread that.
Me: I'm worried.
CG: Don't. You did well on me just now. Just go in and do the same.
Me: I think I'm normal to feeling worried. What did your Mum tell u last time when you are worried about exams? (CG's mum's words can really give u hope and calm u down in some ways)
CG: Many many things. She told me exams are what students have to go through and it's only a minor part of one's life. It's so minor that it's almost insignificant when u view it with everything that goes on in your life when u grow old. She also told me that exams are paper tigers. They scare you because they look like tigers, but if you are courageous enough to go nearer and take a closer look, you'll realise it's only made of paper.
Me: I like your mum. Her words make me feel better.
CG: Do you want to hear a story?
Me: Ok..
CG: *goes on to tells me a part of The Romance of Three Kingdoms* You are just like him. You have got all your preparations ready. You just need the wind. The Gods can't give that to you, because you're the only one who has the ability to. So just create it and u'll be fine.
Me: U sure I'll be ok?
CG: Yes. Paper tigers, remember. But don't underestimate the tiger ok? Respect its presence by giving it your best shot even if you know it's made of paper.
Me: *nod*
It's always at such situations I know I am falling deeper for my boy.
Thursday
Went for my exam, keeping whatever he told me in my head. I know I was nervous, but calmed down once the exam began. In fact, I was kinda enjoying the entire exam. I think I did a good job. And some consultants were really pleased with the way I was examining the patients. Got a few praises from them too. I hope I'll pass it at least. I definitely have to do well to make up for the terrible grades I got in the last exam.
Got back home really happy and excited. My boy was gleeing when he heard my exam went well. And we decided to go collect our rings.
It's been a long time since I last wore a ring on my finger, and seeing one on my finger again made me really happy. I dare not wear it for my boy because there were many people around, so we just took our respective one and wore it ourselves. Not romantic at all.
Watched "Zathura". Cool and exciting movie. I love this thing said in the movie:
"Some games are not meant to be played alone."
Game of Life? Maybe that's why I was given parents the moment I was borned.
Friday
Spent the entire day doing nothing. Went to the business and law libraries to borrow books he wanted. He was looking around all the time, trying to see if there was any familiar faces in the campus (he wants to avoid). It was quite irritating cos I didn't understand why he had to avoid people. If he didn't know what to talk to them abt, just keep things short and asked to be excused. That's it right?
We couldn't have lunch at the business refractory either because he said he's bound to bump into lots of people he know (a lot of China ppl there). So we had to go to the main building for it. And he still ended up bumping into people he knew. It was an Indian (he said she's not Indian, but she looks super Indian to me) girl who used to like him.
CG and her: *chats* (while I went somewhere further away so that I won't disturb them and not because I was unfriendly)
Her: Is that your gf?
CG: Yeah..
Her: She's pretty!
CG: Hahahaha...yeah...yeah....
KAOZ! SIMI "YEAH"?! I knew what he was thinking when he said that. Who doesn't know it's courtesy that u say someone else's gf is pretty? Can't expect her to go "Oh..she's ugly" right? But hahaha..it's ok...I'll believe in the said "truth". Heck care with what my bf thinks...hahahahahahaa.
I bumped into 2 people yesterday too. But it did make my day quite unpleasant even though I tried not to think about it. I didn't say "Hi" to one of them because he was talking to his friend, and I knew this "friend" would try to avoid me too. And I was right. Even CG knew he was avoiding because he said my "friend" saw me. It's not the first time this person is doing that anyway. I always had to be the one to say "Hi", but I think maybe I shouldn't from now on.
Bumped into my ex-housemate too. Another who doesn't talk much to me, and speaks to me like I am some odd, weird stranger.
I don't understand why. I don't recall being mean and even though we're not good friends, did I look so daunting? Once again, it reminded me that I don't have friends here.
Had to get CG's ring changed as he thinks it's quite big for his finger, and now the new ring won't be in till Wednesday. Ahhh...late for V day. But at least when it's comfortable, I'm sure he won't take it off every now and then.
Watched "The Little Polar Bear 2". Not very nice, but the bears are cute. I love their big butts.
Went to the Jap restaurant for dinner. Manz, I'm so excited to go to Bali Restaurant to tell the waiter that we have found a suitable wife-to-be candidate for him. CG and I thinks she's perfect for him, and she definitely has the looks and abilities to be a good wife. Will have to find time to hop down there to let him know and get him to go for a meal there so that he can take a closer look at her...lol. Gosh, now both CG and I are excited about playing matchmaker.
The "friends" issue came back into my head later in the evening, and I started missing home. I miss my friends in Singapore, and my family. CG was trying to console me, but...
Me: I wish I am really pretty at times, so people will at least be nicer to me in the beginning..
CG: But those people would be superficial...and u used to say how superficial me and my dad was just because I told you that he likes pretty girls and how I used to comment on your looks.
Me: I know. But it doesn't matter to me that they're superficial right? I just hope they're be nicer to me. I hate this place..I really do.
CG: I don't think u hate this place. It's the people whom u hate.
Me: Maybe. They suck.
CG: I think you suck actually. You think they suck because you haven't come to terms with this fact that your "friends" are like that. And the fact that u have been here for 5 years already, you still miss home and dread what's happening here?
Me: Yeah...fine..I suck...
CG: Then why won't you go and die? You don't have the courage to?
Me: *pauses* I'm going back to my room to sleep....
That last sentence of his triggered something I will choose to never remember. I wasn't angry with him, and I know things he said can really sound darn nan ting, but it does make me very sad whenever I am reminded of that issue. An issue I would like to tell him about, but afraid to.
Sigh..anyway, am glad it wasn't a quarrel. I just needed to be left alone last night. And my boy just apologised a while ago. There really isn't a need for him to apologise. It's not his fault (apart from saying the "go and die" bit).
The day before the OSCE. I didn't know if I was worried or not. On one hand, I guess I was, on the other, I didn't think so. Anyway, am glad my boy accompanied me while I revised the entire week. And it was funny seeing his reaction when I requested to borrow his body for my revision. Hahaha..that silly boy was so worried and didn't know what I wanted to do with him. He thought I wanted to practise my needling skills on him, and initially rejected it. But when he knew it was only a check up I would do, he was MORE THAN WILLING to do it...hahahaha.
CG: When are u going to examine me?
Me: Aiyo..you've been asking me this question numerous times today. Are you too excited over it? Hahahaha...
CG: The doctors always make their patients fast for a few hours before they do checks on them, so I wanted to know. I thought maybe I have to fast so that you can check on me later. I want to be prepared for you.
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.....
How innocent was that?!?!?!?!?! I was laughing my lungs out.
So before I went to bed, he gladly kept his books away and happily sat there for me to examine. It was WEIRD to examine your own bf. And because I was so conscious of the way he looks at me, I couldn't do it initially.
We managed to get back to serious mode and I carried out my heart and lung examinations thoroughly on him. I forgot minor steps at some point, and he made me repeat the whole thing again and again. It was repeated till perfection. And he even helped to time me!
My boy was impressed with the way I carried out my examinations. He said I looked like a real doctor when I was doing my "job" seriously, and that did give me some encouragement.
I got slightly worried as I was laying in my bed. Kept having the steps recalling in my head endlessly, and I dread that.
Me: I'm worried.
CG: Don't. You did well on me just now. Just go in and do the same.
Me: I think I'm normal to feeling worried. What did your Mum tell u last time when you are worried about exams? (CG's mum's words can really give u hope and calm u down in some ways)
CG: Many many things. She told me exams are what students have to go through and it's only a minor part of one's life. It's so minor that it's almost insignificant when u view it with everything that goes on in your life when u grow old. She also told me that exams are paper tigers. They scare you because they look like tigers, but if you are courageous enough to go nearer and take a closer look, you'll realise it's only made of paper.
Me: I like your mum. Her words make me feel better.
CG: Do you want to hear a story?
Me: Ok..
CG: *goes on to tells me a part of The Romance of Three Kingdoms* You are just like him. You have got all your preparations ready. You just need the wind. The Gods can't give that to you, because you're the only one who has the ability to. So just create it and u'll be fine.
Me: U sure I'll be ok?
CG: Yes. Paper tigers, remember. But don't underestimate the tiger ok? Respect its presence by giving it your best shot even if you know it's made of paper.
Me: *nod*
It's always at such situations I know I am falling deeper for my boy.
Thursday
Went for my exam, keeping whatever he told me in my head. I know I was nervous, but calmed down once the exam began. In fact, I was kinda enjoying the entire exam. I think I did a good job. And some consultants were really pleased with the way I was examining the patients. Got a few praises from them too. I hope I'll pass it at least. I definitely have to do well to make up for the terrible grades I got in the last exam.
Got back home really happy and excited. My boy was gleeing when he heard my exam went well. And we decided to go collect our rings.
It's been a long time since I last wore a ring on my finger, and seeing one on my finger again made me really happy. I dare not wear it for my boy because there were many people around, so we just took our respective one and wore it ourselves. Not romantic at all.
Watched "Zathura". Cool and exciting movie. I love this thing said in the movie:
"Some games are not meant to be played alone."
Game of Life? Maybe that's why I was given parents the moment I was borned.
Friday
Spent the entire day doing nothing. Went to the business and law libraries to borrow books he wanted. He was looking around all the time, trying to see if there was any familiar faces in the campus (he wants to avoid). It was quite irritating cos I didn't understand why he had to avoid people. If he didn't know what to talk to them abt, just keep things short and asked to be excused. That's it right?
We couldn't have lunch at the business refractory either because he said he's bound to bump into lots of people he know (a lot of China ppl there). So we had to go to the main building for it. And he still ended up bumping into people he knew. It was an Indian (he said she's not Indian, but she looks super Indian to me) girl who used to like him.
CG and her: *chats* (while I went somewhere further away so that I won't disturb them and not because I was unfriendly)
Her: Is that your gf?
CG: Yeah..
Her: She's pretty!
CG: Hahahaha...yeah...yeah....
KAOZ! SIMI "YEAH"?! I knew what he was thinking when he said that. Who doesn't know it's courtesy that u say someone else's gf is pretty? Can't expect her to go "Oh..she's ugly" right? But hahaha..it's ok...I'll believe in the said "truth". Heck care with what my bf thinks...hahahahahahaa.
I bumped into 2 people yesterday too. But it did make my day quite unpleasant even though I tried not to think about it. I didn't say "Hi" to one of them because he was talking to his friend, and I knew this "friend" would try to avoid me too. And I was right. Even CG knew he was avoiding because he said my "friend" saw me. It's not the first time this person is doing that anyway. I always had to be the one to say "Hi", but I think maybe I shouldn't from now on.
Bumped into my ex-housemate too. Another who doesn't talk much to me, and speaks to me like I am some odd, weird stranger.
I don't understand why. I don't recall being mean and even though we're not good friends, did I look so daunting? Once again, it reminded me that I don't have friends here.
Had to get CG's ring changed as he thinks it's quite big for his finger, and now the new ring won't be in till Wednesday. Ahhh...late for V day. But at least when it's comfortable, I'm sure he won't take it off every now and then.
Watched "The Little Polar Bear 2". Not very nice, but the bears are cute. I love their big butts.
Went to the Jap restaurant for dinner. Manz, I'm so excited to go to Bali Restaurant to tell the waiter that we have found a suitable wife-to-be candidate for him. CG and I thinks she's perfect for him, and she definitely has the looks and abilities to be a good wife. Will have to find time to hop down there to let him know and get him to go for a meal there so that he can take a closer look at her...lol. Gosh, now both CG and I are excited about playing matchmaker.
The "friends" issue came back into my head later in the evening, and I started missing home. I miss my friends in Singapore, and my family. CG was trying to console me, but...
Me: I wish I am really pretty at times, so people will at least be nicer to me in the beginning..
CG: But those people would be superficial...and u used to say how superficial me and my dad was just because I told you that he likes pretty girls and how I used to comment on your looks.
Me: I know. But it doesn't matter to me that they're superficial right? I just hope they're be nicer to me. I hate this place..I really do.
CG: I don't think u hate this place. It's the people whom u hate.
Me: Maybe. They suck.
CG: I think you suck actually. You think they suck because you haven't come to terms with this fact that your "friends" are like that. And the fact that u have been here for 5 years already, you still miss home and dread what's happening here?
Me: Yeah...fine..I suck...
CG: Then why won't you go and die? You don't have the courage to?
Me: *pauses* I'm going back to my room to sleep....
That last sentence of his triggered something I will choose to never remember. I wasn't angry with him, and I know things he said can really sound darn nan ting, but it does make me very sad whenever I am reminded of that issue. An issue I would like to tell him about, but afraid to.
Sigh..anyway, am glad it wasn't a quarrel. I just needed to be left alone last night. And my boy just apologised a while ago. There really isn't a need for him to apologise. It's not his fault (apart from saying the "go and die" bit).
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