We quarrelled last night. And once again, it made me realise how much we do not understand each other. No matter how much we quarrel or make up, ultimately, the root of the problem isn't solved. I have no idea how to solve it either.
Things we quarrel about was never something I had to quarrel with anyone else. They are probably the craziest and weirdest things any couple would quarrel about, but still, we have major rows over them.
He doesn't understand why I get angry and now he thinks I'm going overboard with my temper. And demanding too much. He also claims that he has given in to me a lot and because of me, he has learnt to control his temper.
I explained why I get angry, but I don't think they ever make sense to him. I would then explain again, only to hear very blunt things from him. It's probably just his country's culture that they say things in a crude way, be it to friends or anyone, and even being pretty open me, I cannot take it. I would not have care a teeny weeny bit if I do not love him, but the fact that I do, made me intolerant of such words. He doesn't understand this either. He thinks a gf is someone whom he can just say anything he wants in any way he likes to.
I can see that he tries to make it up by giving me hugs and kisses. However, knowing that the root of the problem isn't even sorted at all and all he wants is just for me to stop being upset, puts me off. The problems will resurface again. I don't want to keep going through it.
Part of me is feeling guilty that I have brought him unhappiness to a day he deemed important - Chun Jie. I have been hearing him telling me about how it would be like in China during this period, about the big feast his family will have for reunion dinner, his missing home, and his complaints that there isn't any festive mood here (not even in Chinese shops). I hear him telling me about how his aunt would wrap dumplings, and how he would help to wrap too, followed by him commenting that I don't know how to do it and his rather disgusted look when I told him I have never made dumplings before and my family never does it too.
His reaction made me feel stupid even though I know it's not my fault that I do not know how to wrap dumplings. If I knew how to wrap it the way they do in China, I would have done them for him. I want to try too, yet at the same time, afraid that he might say the same things he said last weekend.
I made wanton for him last weekend. I admit I can't wrap it as nicely like how restaurants do it, and I am only wrapping it the way I see my mum does it. I wanted to make fried wantons, and because I know he craves for soup, I decided to use some to make wanton soup too. I think in China, they wrap it differently and give it different names, so what I did was kinda "wrong". Fried ones are called "he zi", and only those in soup is called "hun tun", but the way I wrapped it was wrong. I felt pretty disappointed that evening, but shoved my disappointment aside so as not to spoil the mood. Even he said it was delicious, I felt that I have not done a good job at all.
It's reunion dinner with him tonight. I am still not in my best mood, but I don't want to ruin this day for him either. How can I handle this situation in the best way?
Things we quarrel about was never something I had to quarrel with anyone else. They are probably the craziest and weirdest things any couple would quarrel about, but still, we have major rows over them.
He doesn't understand why I get angry and now he thinks I'm going overboard with my temper. And demanding too much. He also claims that he has given in to me a lot and because of me, he has learnt to control his temper.
I explained why I get angry, but I don't think they ever make sense to him. I would then explain again, only to hear very blunt things from him. It's probably just his country's culture that they say things in a crude way, be it to friends or anyone, and even being pretty open me, I cannot take it. I would not have care a teeny weeny bit if I do not love him, but the fact that I do, made me intolerant of such words. He doesn't understand this either. He thinks a gf is someone whom he can just say anything he wants in any way he likes to.
I can see that he tries to make it up by giving me hugs and kisses. However, knowing that the root of the problem isn't even sorted at all and all he wants is just for me to stop being upset, puts me off. The problems will resurface again. I don't want to keep going through it.
Part of me is feeling guilty that I have brought him unhappiness to a day he deemed important - Chun Jie. I have been hearing him telling me about how it would be like in China during this period, about the big feast his family will have for reunion dinner, his missing home, and his complaints that there isn't any festive mood here (not even in Chinese shops). I hear him telling me about how his aunt would wrap dumplings, and how he would help to wrap too, followed by him commenting that I don't know how to do it and his rather disgusted look when I told him I have never made dumplings before and my family never does it too.
His reaction made me feel stupid even though I know it's not my fault that I do not know how to wrap dumplings. If I knew how to wrap it the way they do in China, I would have done them for him. I want to try too, yet at the same time, afraid that he might say the same things he said last weekend.
I made wanton for him last weekend. I admit I can't wrap it as nicely like how restaurants do it, and I am only wrapping it the way I see my mum does it. I wanted to make fried wantons, and because I know he craves for soup, I decided to use some to make wanton soup too. I think in China, they wrap it differently and give it different names, so what I did was kinda "wrong". Fried ones are called "he zi", and only those in soup is called "hun tun", but the way I wrapped it was wrong. I felt pretty disappointed that evening, but shoved my disappointment aside so as not to spoil the mood. Even he said it was delicious, I felt that I have not done a good job at all.
It's reunion dinner with him tonight. I am still not in my best mood, but I don't want to ruin this day for him either. How can I handle this situation in the best way?
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