I almost made a rash decision to just grab my wallet and go to London, which I'm glad I didn't. CG and I went to Cardiff Bay instead.

It was a long time since I last went to Cardiff Bay and hence, it was my first time going into this newly built performance hall which is similar to Singapore's Esplanade. I cannot express the joy I feel whenever I walk into a performance hall, and see pictures of the stage. There was a shop which has got quite a lot of ballet stuffs too. I took my time to walk around, and CG was quite irritated, which got me pretty pissed off.

I guess I did mention this before. I really hate his habit of pulling me away from things I am excited about and want to spend some time looking at. He hasn't done it for a while, but today, he did it again!

And we didn't take any photos together AGAIN. You bet I was disappointed. I have always been envious of couples who can take photos together, be it random pics. OK, we've got 3 random pics, but I was the one who insisted on taking it. I think it sounds drastically pathetic. I don't even have a proper photo taken with him which I can frame up. I got pissed. I got angry. I grumbled to him about this, but at the end of it, I still felt no better despite him saying we'll take more photos together in future. I appreciate his effort of trying to please me, but at the same time, I can't help but be upset. I thought couples love taking photos together, but my bf doesn't at all. And he claims that it's because he doesn't like taking photos and there isn't a nice scenery too.

BUT WHO GIVES ALL THE SHIT ABOUT SCENERY?!?!?!?!

It's not as if we are always travelling together. We haven't even been to anywhere out of Cardiff till now. And if I always have to wait for a scenery, I might not even end up having an album of us for years!

He doesn't see my joy of having small things like random photos of us. Sometimes, I wonder if he knows how much I prefer these constant little joys and sometimes, I wonder if to him, only expensive gifts and fancy dinners are worth being valued. And it will definitely be shocking if I mention that I don't even know the date of us being together. He doesn't either. We only know which month and whether it's at the beginning or the end.

Being his gf, I thought these tiny things will be important to him and he would want to remember. But the fact that he doesn't even insist on finding out probably just means it isn't important.

I was quite sad when he asked me what he should do with our ring when he goes back to China. He doesn't want his parents to see it. His parents doesn't know about our relationship, and I am trying to understand his plan to tell them after we're together for 2 yrs. So if I were to visit him during August, I'll be going as a friend. It does hurt me slightly, but I suppose he has his reason. But the ring....if it was meant to be hidden, why even bother to buy it?

Call me sensitive. I think these things just contributes to why I cannot feel secure. I know he's trying. I can feel it and I don't blame him for losing his temper when I still feel insecure despite him trying. I guess he doesn't know..doesn't understand even though I have told him. And I have no idea how else I can make it clear to him.

Just when I thought a few days ago that I might have found the "spot" I want to "sit" tightly comfortably in....ha..probably I haven't....