I was feeling bogged down by numerous issues yesterday. There was this feeling of difficulty breathing despite me taking deep breaths.

I needed a listening ear, and someone I feel confident to confide in, but as usual, I never know who to find. Dearie would listen, but on occasions like this, I really needed someone who is in the same profession to be around.

I've a gd buddy here, and she comes to my room to chat almost every night to pour out all her problems. But I can't really talk to her abt my problems and insecurity, simply because whenever she is having problems (which is like everyday!), she goes on and on abt them, and cannot think of anything else. Like yesterday, despite being really troubled, I actually spent 5 hours listening to her go on abt the same thing again and again. I admit it can be a bit frustrating since she would be asking me the same question for like more than 100 times, and I'll have to give her the same reply for the same number of time. But being a friend and knowing that she needed to rant, I just let her be. I mean, think abt it, it's quite a honour to know that someone would choose u to rant and pour her problems to.

"U have to tell me what you're thinking about. We need to communicate" Dearie told me yesterday. Still, I refused to talk. It wasn't abt not wanting to share it, but I needed proper assurance from someone who knows what phase I'm going through in my career. I can share anything else with Dearie, but whenever it comes to something related to Medicine, I don't see a point in telling him since his mind would wander off. I don't blame him for that. And to be honest, I don't even know if this is healthy in a relationship, because for the moment, everything in my life is about the hospital and patients. Apart frm topics abt my job, I haven't got much to talk to him about. Will this lead to a communication breakdown one day?

Anyway, I turned up for work today feeling really tired (I guess I was drained frm all the above), and thank goodness, I bumped into bubbly Eleanor. This pharmacy assistant is the bubbliest person I've ever seen, apart from Huishan. She's bubbly even when she's very tired! Miss having her around ever since I've left Cardiology (we use to crap like mad every morning when she's supplying the drugs while I'm doing all my paperwork), and it was definitely a pleasure bumping into her again into the acute medical unit. As usual, she never fails to make me laugh with her crap.

E: It's really bright in this treatment room!
Me: Yup..
E: I should go turn off all the lights in here later, because I'm a very good electricity saver...hahaha
Me: Hahaha!!! Eleanor, u're always full of crap!
E: Hey, the leopard never ever changes its spots.
Me: Yes, I can tell..
E: Wouldn't it be nice if they do change from spots to stripes? Then people can't tell if it's a leopard or a tiger!
Me: Hhahahhaa!!!! It'll be nice if u have some that changes into flowery patterns or stars...
E: *excited* YEAH! That'll be really cool!!!!!

Then this patient made me laugh as well with his confusion...

He was trying to get up from his chair, and because he was pretty wobbly, I went to help him, and he got into this "ah pek" putting one foot on the chair type of position.

Me: Mr D, r u trying to go somewhere?
D: Yes
Me: Where r u going?
D: I'm going to another town, but I need to wait for the ambulance.

And he was actually looking out of the window with a serious "I'm waiting" look. Very funny indeed.

Sometimes, I really need jokers like these to make me laugh at work and keep me alive.