My Sunday

My Sunday didn't go very well because of an argument with Dearie. But thanks to Owain's dinner and the lovely snow, I cheered up :)

I got up this morning, and decided to look out of my window (which is really rare). It was a surprise to see the cars covered with snow. Apparently, it snowed last night! And just when I was admiring it, and cursing that it's such a waste that I didn't get to watch it last night, it started snowing!!!!

It got heavier with time, and I was getting more and more excited. I love snow! I wanted to share my joy with someone, so I rang Dearie. He wasn't feeling very excited hearing my voice today, but I didn't think much of it.

But talking to him this afternoon wasn't pleasant. It was a blow to my confidence in this relationship, and made me question if it was worth it all along. I feel useless as a girlfriend, and I'm deeply sorry and guilty for causing his loneliness and making his life really miserable. I have failed badly in being someone he can share his problems with, when he told me before that I'm his only mental support. Part of me wants to give it all up, yet at the same time, I love him too much to let it go. 2.5 years hasn't been easy for us, and it is already quite an achievement to even have me be in a relationship with anyone this long. I have grown so used to having him being part of me despite the countless rows we had over the years.

I was still in tears when my hp bleeped...

"Come over at about 7 or 7.30ish..dinner will be ready.."

I was actually feeling really down, and I did put in lots of effort to maintain my smile when I turned up. It was my first time having dinner at his place, and honestly, this dinner was something I really needed today - something to warm my heart.

The main course was oven-baked seabass, with mashed potatoes mixed with olives. Dessert had this fanciful name which I can't pronounce, but it was this whipped cream with ice cream with hazelnut mixed with caramel beneath. It wasn't an elaborate dinner, but I was extremely appreciative and touched that he spent hours making them even though he thought I wasn't being very nice by trying to take away the olives in the mashed potatoes, which he spent quite a lot of time cutting up.

I did feel a lot better, especially after the dessert. Ate so much of that yummy dessert that I feel so bloated now and have been wrenching a lot on my way home.

It was freezing when I was on my way back to my accomodation. I was wishing it would snow, and immediately, it started snowing! And as usual, I would be jumping and running about in the snow. It was such a comfortable feeling closing my eyes with my arms open and letting the soft snow fall onto my face and hands.