Bored and frustrated - that's how I felt the whole of yesterday and the day before.

I was at my peak with the above.

Was complaining to her abt my frustrations, and how pissed off I am with the type of patients I'm getting at the moment. And she was laughing her lungs out that I'm more like a community doctor now rather than a proper doctor in training.

I guess I'm just a person who needs to get busy with productive things, and it's only then do I feel my energy coming back. I've been feeling so fatigued everyday now because I'm spending my time doing boring, meaningless things on the wards now, and sometimes I get so put off that I have drag myself to turn up for work. This shouldn't be the case. Like what Samya said, sometimes we wonder why the Trust needed to employ us for such jobs.

Having read a lot recently, I have this crave to see proper cases, whereby I can put what I've learnt into practice, to see if my management plans become successful, to prescribe medications which I have yet gotten to prescribe. I want to move forward, I want to become better, but I feel hindered drastically because of the rubbish I'm having.

Anyway, I was glad that she was there to console me last night. "When u go back home, I'm sure u will be slogging so much that u won't even have time to read. See this from another perspective. U can use this time now to catch up on your reading, and reinforce your knowledge." she said.

She's right. I should take a different approach. I should be thankful that at least I have time to read now, at least before I get thrown into another ocean back home. The chance for me to put what I've read and learnt into practice will come. The day whereby I'll be able to make more decisions will come.