Dad's return to Sg
It's 11+ am in UK.
At this time, Dad would be at the coach station, awaiting to catch the coach to go to Heathrow Airport. I should be at the coach station accompanying him, but instead, I'm here typing my blog. I lack the guts to go see him off. I didn't want the feeling I had in Yr 1 to come back.
I still remember when I first came to Cardiff to start my course, Dad came with me. We had to settle many problems because my acceptance was last minute. Everything was so rush during then. Just 2 weeks after receiving news of my acceptance, I had to pack up and leave to this foreign land. I didn't miss home, in fact, I was looking forward to go far away from home to escape some problems which I've always been facing. To me, it was a route to temporary freedom. I was enjoying every single day of my stay in UK. I found it an opportunity to take care of myself and seized every chance to be alone. But on the day when Dad left me to go back to sg, I cried for the first time in UK. I remember I was having my orientation in the hospital. Dad sent me a sms on my hp to bid me farewell. Suddenly, I had the abandoned feeling, and everything just turned so foreign to me. I am alone now...all alone in UK, with people I've never met, places I've never been, culture I've never experienced. It was scary for a moment.
This time, the situation isn't the same because I've been here for years, so the surroundings aren't as foreign to me, but again, it was Dad leaving for sg while I'm staying behind. I was afraid..very afraid that the same abandoned feeling would come back. Hence, all I could do is look at the clock and think about what Dad is doing, and refusing to see him off. But trust me, deep down I wish to tell Dad I am extremely grateful to him once again. He saw me through this ordeal, standing by me every moment. He told me many things during the past few days. He said he was proud of me and he is very confident I'll make it through. No doubt I am having a clearer mind, but seriously I don't know if I will live up to his expectations. But I'll do my best and make sure I'll never let him down again. I don't wish to hurt him further. Dad just went through too much for me since I was born...it's time I show my gratitude...
Been missing Jason a lot everyday too. Although I'm not next to him, but all the while, I haven't left him mentally. I take numerous looks at his photos, each time putting a smile on my face.
Poor boy, he's ill. Must have overworked himself and thanks to me that he hasn't been sleeping much and well for the past weeks. Remember when I first knew him, he's always telling me he's going to bed when it was only 9+ or 10+, and I thought he was crazy. Till today, I'm still not sure if he really went to bed, or went offline and continued doing his work.
Oh...he's online..finally back from the doctor's..heez. Shall see how he is.
At this time, Dad would be at the coach station, awaiting to catch the coach to go to Heathrow Airport. I should be at the coach station accompanying him, but instead, I'm here typing my blog. I lack the guts to go see him off. I didn't want the feeling I had in Yr 1 to come back.
I still remember when I first came to Cardiff to start my course, Dad came with me. We had to settle many problems because my acceptance was last minute. Everything was so rush during then. Just 2 weeks after receiving news of my acceptance, I had to pack up and leave to this foreign land. I didn't miss home, in fact, I was looking forward to go far away from home to escape some problems which I've always been facing. To me, it was a route to temporary freedom. I was enjoying every single day of my stay in UK. I found it an opportunity to take care of myself and seized every chance to be alone. But on the day when Dad left me to go back to sg, I cried for the first time in UK. I remember I was having my orientation in the hospital. Dad sent me a sms on my hp to bid me farewell. Suddenly, I had the abandoned feeling, and everything just turned so foreign to me. I am alone now...all alone in UK, with people I've never met, places I've never been, culture I've never experienced. It was scary for a moment.
This time, the situation isn't the same because I've been here for years, so the surroundings aren't as foreign to me, but again, it was Dad leaving for sg while I'm staying behind. I was afraid..very afraid that the same abandoned feeling would come back. Hence, all I could do is look at the clock and think about what Dad is doing, and refusing to see him off. But trust me, deep down I wish to tell Dad I am extremely grateful to him once again. He saw me through this ordeal, standing by me every moment. He told me many things during the past few days. He said he was proud of me and he is very confident I'll make it through. No doubt I am having a clearer mind, but seriously I don't know if I will live up to his expectations. But I'll do my best and make sure I'll never let him down again. I don't wish to hurt him further. Dad just went through too much for me since I was born...it's time I show my gratitude...
Been missing Jason a lot everyday too. Although I'm not next to him, but all the while, I haven't left him mentally. I take numerous looks at his photos, each time putting a smile on my face.
Poor boy, he's ill. Must have overworked himself and thanks to me that he hasn't been sleeping much and well for the past weeks. Remember when I first knew him, he's always telling me he's going to bed when it was only 9+ or 10+, and I thought he was crazy. Till today, I'm still not sure if he really went to bed, or went offline and continued doing his work.
Oh...he's online..finally back from the doctor's..heez. Shall see how he is.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home