I don't want to leave...

Such an early time to blog..still feeling sleepy despite waking up at a very late hour.

My days left in Sg is limited now and I know very soon, I'll be back to a place I wish I will never go back to, but due to academic reasons, I have to continue walking down this path..a path I chose with no regrets, yet full of downs.

If it weren't for the above reasons, I would choose not to return because I've enjoyed myself entirely here in Sg. I have everything here..my bf..my family..my friends..a place I can call home. Back in UK, I'm alone. It feels as if overnight, everything is taken away from my side, leaving me once again to fend for myself.

Jason told me he is with me whereever I am. I'm grateful for all that he has done for me over the past dunno how many days. It's been wonderful having him around. Everyday, I'm just hoping to see him more and more. I love the comfort in his smile, I love the way he talks to me, I love the way he coax me to sleep..I just love every bit of him.

Last night, he was hurt again. Full of disappointment. I can feel his pain, his helplessness, but I was not able to share it with him. I felt lost, not knowing how to make him feel better because I was feeling the same way, which resulted in me keeping quiet, but my tears were rolling, which soon after made me feel more exhausted than I originally was.

I wish he had cried in front of me, and not hide it away. I never thought crying was a shameful thing. It's always been a way of releasing your emotions. But I knew he cried last night and it pains me to keep quiet on the phone. I hope he knew that I was around all the while, and I'm feeling just as down.

I'm not sure what's going to happen down the road and what will become of us in the future, but nevertheless, I'm treasuring every bit of it now. We've planned things and I hope it will all come true one day. I'm feeling happy being with him and I trust him very much. I love him.