^_^ Happy~~~
I had a memorable time with Jason yesterday. We didn't do anything special, but I felt very happy and I still am now.
As I am typing this entry, I am wearing my smile and remembering things he told me yesterday. I feel fortunate for being his gf.
The day yesterday started off bad because we talked about some unpleasant issues on the phone. The result was disappointment and at the same time, I told myself I should see things from his perspective before mine. Afterall, he's important to me and I don't wish to hurt him. Honestly, I didn't think I was at fault for most of the things I did, but yes, I was insensitive to the way I talked and behaved in front of him. I am open, but whilst being so, I didn't realise that everyone doesnt have the same mentality and open personality as me. He's one. He's not wrong, but I just need some time to adjust to accomodate him.
I don't blame him at all, in fact, I am trying to tell myself that his jealousy, his insecurity are signs of my importance to him. I should feel happy, but nevertheless, I was drifting towards my thought of him being possessive. Just then, I remembered something which I read recently...
I was reading through this magazine article. In it, there was an interesting story which a teenage girl told the editor. This girl took a piece of tissue paper and used a blue pen to draw a small dark circle on it. She then asked the editor, "What do you see?" The editor replied, " A blue circle." The girl then said, "Why won't you tell me that you see a white piece of tissue with a blue defect on it?" After reading this, I smiled to myself. I've learnt something through this.
Very often, we tend to look at something small and concentrate on it, without realising the other things around it. I used this and thought about my argument with Jason. Yes, no doubt he is jealous and insecured, but I had made a mistake too. I got disappointed because of this, but I have neglected the reasons to why he felt this way..so during the time when I requested to be left alone, I thought about this and cooled down. I wasn't so disappointed anymore, and naturally my tears stopped rolling and I was smiling once again. Now that I think back, I felt silly. I made him so worried due my lack of understanding. Sorry Jason. Give me some time..I'll try harder to make you happier..
I queried about Jason's past rship too. I have always been curious, but didn't ask much because I was worried he will be unhappy. But I'm not sure why I finally decided to just ask. I hope it didn't make him uncomfortable or unhappy.
I must admit jealousy was how I felt for a moment as I listened, but at the same time, I feel secured. I have nothing against his ex gf. I just wanted to know more about my bf, and I will try not to make those mistakes she made..of course, I'll still be myself and use my own way to love him. Hopefully, he'll be pleased with me.
He told me something touching last night on the phone. I was so touched. He said he will be preparing 3 surprises for me. The first would be before my departure, the 2nd for me to open on the plane and the 3rd is to be opened when I arrive in UK. I knew his intentions very well. He wanted me to be happy all the way till I arrive in UK.
Going back to UK this time is something I have to do. I'm not happy and he knows it. I am touched about the surprises I'll be having, but then again, if I could choose, I'll choose not to have any, but to have him next to him, saying comforting words to me when I am not smiling, telling me to be brave, reminding me I'm an officer's gf (haha...), and lastly coaxing me to sleep.
Geez..my smile's still on! Ok, I'm crazily in love..haha...what a silly piece of shit.
Going out to shop soon..and to meet him..yay!
As I am typing this entry, I am wearing my smile and remembering things he told me yesterday. I feel fortunate for being his gf.
The day yesterday started off bad because we talked about some unpleasant issues on the phone. The result was disappointment and at the same time, I told myself I should see things from his perspective before mine. Afterall, he's important to me and I don't wish to hurt him. Honestly, I didn't think I was at fault for most of the things I did, but yes, I was insensitive to the way I talked and behaved in front of him. I am open, but whilst being so, I didn't realise that everyone doesnt have the same mentality and open personality as me. He's one. He's not wrong, but I just need some time to adjust to accomodate him.
I don't blame him at all, in fact, I am trying to tell myself that his jealousy, his insecurity are signs of my importance to him. I should feel happy, but nevertheless, I was drifting towards my thought of him being possessive. Just then, I remembered something which I read recently...
I was reading through this magazine article. In it, there was an interesting story which a teenage girl told the editor. This girl took a piece of tissue paper and used a blue pen to draw a small dark circle on it. She then asked the editor, "What do you see?" The editor replied, " A blue circle." The girl then said, "Why won't you tell me that you see a white piece of tissue with a blue defect on it?" After reading this, I smiled to myself. I've learnt something through this.
Very often, we tend to look at something small and concentrate on it, without realising the other things around it. I used this and thought about my argument with Jason. Yes, no doubt he is jealous and insecured, but I had made a mistake too. I got disappointed because of this, but I have neglected the reasons to why he felt this way..so during the time when I requested to be left alone, I thought about this and cooled down. I wasn't so disappointed anymore, and naturally my tears stopped rolling and I was smiling once again. Now that I think back, I felt silly. I made him so worried due my lack of understanding. Sorry Jason. Give me some time..I'll try harder to make you happier..
I queried about Jason's past rship too. I have always been curious, but didn't ask much because I was worried he will be unhappy. But I'm not sure why I finally decided to just ask. I hope it didn't make him uncomfortable or unhappy.
I must admit jealousy was how I felt for a moment as I listened, but at the same time, I feel secured. I have nothing against his ex gf. I just wanted to know more about my bf, and I will try not to make those mistakes she made..of course, I'll still be myself and use my own way to love him. Hopefully, he'll be pleased with me.
He told me something touching last night on the phone. I was so touched. He said he will be preparing 3 surprises for me. The first would be before my departure, the 2nd for me to open on the plane and the 3rd is to be opened when I arrive in UK. I knew his intentions very well. He wanted me to be happy all the way till I arrive in UK.
Going back to UK this time is something I have to do. I'm not happy and he knows it. I am touched about the surprises I'll be having, but then again, if I could choose, I'll choose not to have any, but to have him next to him, saying comforting words to me when I am not smiling, telling me to be brave, reminding me I'm an officer's gf (haha...), and lastly coaxing me to sleep.
Geez..my smile's still on! Ok, I'm crazily in love..haha...what a silly piece of shit.
Going out to shop soon..and to meet him..yay!
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