This seems weird, since now I still term CG as "Dearie" in my posts. I've grown so used to it, that calling him by name now doesn't feel right.

Perhaps it's a coincidence, but many of my colleagues have been asking me about him recently. Not being on such close terms with them whereby I will reveal too much abt my private life, I wasn't prepared to answer further questions, hence I still term him as my bf and will say everything is fine with a smile, hoping that the topic will end there.

Dearie (I feel more used to it typing this too) sent me an email today. It wasn't an email for me, but one for my dad. Dad wasn't well recently, and being a major workaholic, he must have really been feeling unwell to take a few days off from work. He was investigated for this, and recently had a procedure done to treat it. When I told Dearie about this about 2 weeks back, Dearie was worried and have been trying to send an email to my dad. However, he wasn't too comfortable with sending an email with grammar errors, so decided to get me to translate the email instead.

I felt touched when I read the email. I really appreciate the fact that he is showing care and concern to my dad, despite our current situation.

I haven't spoken to Dearie for many days, but we're still in touch via smses. As usual, his smes would always start off with the word "Darling". It doesn't seem appropriate to start off my smses with my usual "Darling" too, and I know it would hurt him if I call him CG too, so I've been avoiding both terms completely.

Perhaps he has sensed that I'm maintaining a distance, hence he has held back his persistence by not waiting for me to finish work, and asking me to stay up to call him. I'm sure some will say perhaps he might think it's better for him too since he won't have to sleep later and struggle with talking to me on his way to work in the morning. Maybe it's true. I have thought abt all that, but forget it, I don't wish to dig into this.

Dearie sent me a sms last night telling me that he's been very busy at work, and is looking forward to Friday, because he'll be able to talk to me. Unfortunately, I'll be attending the hospital ball tmr evening, and I'm sure it will be really late by the time I return home. Plus, I'm on call this weekend.

Told him all that, and apparently, he seems very insistent on talking and webcamming, saying that no matter what, he will either stay up or wake up very early. He also said it's alright even if I have nothing to say, since all he wants is to see me.

Honestly, I don't know if he will keep his word. Yes, it's the weekend again, and I can sort of anticipate what might happen.

These nights, I have been wanting to pick up my phone and ring him, but at the same time, I don't know what to say to him. Hence, I end up leaving my phone alone, get some sleep, and giving my mind some rest.

Shall go to bed now. Been having this headache which comes on every night suddenly, and it's difficult to describe it. And when it comes on, my neck feels stiff when it's not and I just feel very very uncomfortable from my neck upwards, especially in the temporals. I wonder what's wrong, and I don't want to keep relying on paracetamol every night for this.