Him: Is there a problem with our relationship?


Me: Why do u ask? If I were to say yes, u'll not think it's significant. If u think there's no problem, then there isn't.


Him: No, there's definitely a problem. But I want to know what it is.


I told him, and as expected, quarrels started. Again, I was blamed for not being understanding.


I wasn't being understanding because:


1. I expected at least a sms a day when he's in America to let me know how he is.


2. I got upset when he asked me to call him, and 5 minutes later, he told me his hp batt is low cos he forgot to charge it the night before.


3. I wasn't very happy when he promised that he'll be back by the end of next week, and hasn't even applied for his visa and book his air ticket.


4. I fussed abt waiting the entire night for him to contact me, and he didn't.


5. I was upset whenever I have no idea what he's doing when we lose touch with each other.


And the list goes on.


I have spent a lot of time preparing the present for him for our 2nd anniversary, and sourcing for our trip. But suddenly, it seemed pointless to do so. We haven't had a proper celebration for anything before, and I was so hoping to make our 2nd anniversary our first proper event. I was hoping for it to be a chance for us to make major changes to our relationship. I was determined to spend some days of my annual leave with him, instead of going home, because I know how rare a chance it is for us to have some getaway time together. I wanted to discuss it all with him so that I can make bookings and also to plan my annual leave.


But none of the above has been done. Nothing's been discussed, nothing's been planned. Nothing at all. It felt like a complete waste of my time, and I could have probably been better off planning my trip home.

He said he'll be back in October. I waited. Then he said end of October. I waited. And I've finally it's here...but till now, I have no idea when he's coming back. And I'm not supposed to feel disappointed or upset. I know there has been problems which is causing a delay in his return, but I couldn't sense any urgency abt it, which is disappointing me a lot. What's the point of telling me he misses me? What's the point of telling me that he's wanting to be by my side? Regardless of how much truth there is, I'm already getting frustrated whenever it's mentioned.

I didn't know there were so many family quarrels going on because of my presence. I wasn't too naive to think that he had full support for wanting to come back to the UK. I didn't know he was having a hard time being stuck between his parents and me. He said I have idea how it feels like.

Neither does he know how it feels like to wish your bf would be beside you to care and love u, yet u can't demand because u don't want to hurt his parents. And having a bf who is constantly saying u don't understand, and refusing to acknowledge the fact that the relationship is on the rocks. He doesn't know how it feels like to cry to sleep a few times a week. He doesn't know that trust doesn't come instantly, but needs to be earned. He doesn't know how it feels when u want to discuss problems, but end up getting blamed. He doesn't know how it feels like to keep all the problems to oneself simply because the person u love most isn't interested in sharing it, and u don't want to hurt anyone else being involved.

Most importantly, he doesn't know how much I've been trying to salvage this relationship which means a lot to me.