I've tried. Tried oh so very hard to adapt to life in the countryside, but I really think such a life isn't my type.

My 6 weeks in a farm when I was in my 4th year doing Obs & Gynae had been torturing enough for me. I know it all sounds so exciting, going to hospital in the day, and then sleeping in a farmhouse at night, and then wake up in the morning by sound of the rooster calling, and see chickens running around while u gaze outside the window, taking sips from my cup of hot milo. But to me, that's a life I will never ever go for. Reason one is because I don't have a car, so once I'm stuck in the farm, I'm S.T.U.C.K. No shops, no supermarket, nothing around! Reason 2, mobile frequency in the farmland is extremely bad, so bad that I often have my line cutting off halfway while I'm having a conversation with Dearie...sigh.

I thought I'll never ever go to such a place again, but sigh...*shakes head*

Ok lah, it's not that bad here. It's still a town, at least, but still the countryside.

I have been cooping myself up in my hospital accomodation, not wanting to go anywhere for weeks, and today, I thought I'll go check out the town centre....

Forgot that transport is pretty crap in the UK, and poor me ended up waiting 50 minutes for a bus to town. Piangz, of all days, it's scorching hot in UK, and I was so dreading it. Could almost feel myself turning tanned by the minute...and of course, worrying that my face will start bursting with rashes.

I was quite excited after boarding the bus, telling myself that I shall do some shopping today. Shall slowly try to dress nicely from now on. But the town centre was such a disappointment. Was telling myself that even if I'm willing to spend a lot of money to dress myself up, this place won't be able to have what I want too.

It was practically a "countryside", and an old folks' land. There were quite a number of shops around, but the clothes there....gosh...I wouldn't even want it even if it's free. The only shop which kept me in for a while are stationary shops..because some of the files are so pretty. Was so tempted to buy it, but there's no need for me to buy expanding files, so I just left empty handed.

Ended up only buying food from Marks & Spencers. Looks like the only thing I can do here is to eat...sigh..

If only Dearie is here. I'm so tempted to go to London to proper shops to buy some good quality clothes. Honestly, I really wanna doll up here, but there doesn't seem to be a reason. If it's in Sg, I think I'll at least try to put some loose powder (or make up if I'm in a better mood)..not because I'm hoping to attract anyone..but u don't really want people to say how horrid u look even if they dunno u. But here....sigh...the people just can't be bothered.

It's not an offence for doctors to put make up, but somehow, it just seems odd because the doctors here don't even bother making up. Everyone dresses really simple, and it looks extremely funny if u see someone dressed like a runway model or a fashion kitten with a stethoscope around her neck, running around the entire hospital like an insane person, manicly writing up numerous blood forms, and walking around the ward stabbing needles into patients.

Plus Dearie isn't here also...and I'm not interested in any guy here and I'm not going out on special dates with anyone too....the more there isn't a reason to make up. I wish Dearie's back, then when I go out with him, at least I'll find it a reason to doll up.

Sigh..been feeling very "bie niu" abt this issue recently. On one hand, I think there's no reason to doll up, on another, I am envious of girls my age who are able to dress prettily and put nice make up, looking good before going out. And I'm so hoping to get braces done.

My teeth arrangement has always been a problem, and because I didn't have many teeth dropping when I was younger, the dentist didn't think I was ready for bracing when my parents seeked advice from him. Only 6 of my teeth dropped when I was young, and that was it. And it's definitely not possible to say that I have milk teeth waiting to drop now that I'm almost 25 right? But because it's so expensive to get bracing done here, I'll have to wait till I am permanently back in Singapore.and Dad who pities me a lot because people around me have been commenting so much on my teeth since young, said he'll sponser me to do it when I return to Singapore.

I've been so used to this criticism that it doesn't bother me that much anymore, but Dearie has been bringing this up quite a number of times, saying that his mum thinks I'll look pretty once I get bracing done, and this does have some effect on me. I know Dearie doesn't mind how I look at the moment, but I'm sure he'll be pleased if I get braces done and look better after the treatment is complete.

Sometimes, it does hurt when I think back about what his friends think of my looks. They were so excited when they heard that he's got a gf, and were thinking that this girl must be very very pretty, because Dearie used to have quite a lot of admirers who were pretty, but he didn't fancy any of them. They probably thought that Dearie didn't find them pretty enough. And when Dearie showed them my photo, they did get a shock..not because they think I'm ugly..but because I'm just extremely average. Brought this up to Dearie up a few times, and he thinks I shouldn't be bothered by it because ultimately, it's how he feels about my looks and I'm his gf..not theirs.

I keep thinking that Dearie doesn't mind how I look, but at times, when he brings up the issue about the bracing, I do feel that he probably minds it to a slight extent.