End of storm

This should be a Merry Xmas entry, but I shall leave it aside first since I have yet to receive all my presents and hence, do not have photos to post up.

I'm really glad that the storm is over.

We had the worst dispute on my last night in Cardiff before I came back for Xmas. It was so bad that he was serious abt thinking of ending our relationship and said he will have to consider our relationship again. And I, was being driven more to more to saying "Fine. End it now, once and for all!"

I cried a lot because of the things he said and over why he wanted to make this crucial decision. I can understand if he was just disappointed, but I cannot accept him considering a break up because of something which wasn't my fault.

I know he doubted me. I know he was having thoughts that I lied. And that disappointed and hurt me tremendously because I never did. I told him every single truth. And I really thought he trusted me.

I wanted to leave for the coach station early because the thought of having to see him made my tears roll uncontrollably. But he still came to my room to help me with my luggage. The situation was very tense, until he suddenly hugged me and cried. His body was "shivering" and his eyes were so red. I knew he didn't sleep the entire night. I knew how sad he was from the way he was hugging me.

We had a short chat, but things were still slightly sore even though I finally talked. I still couldn't put it behind me and be cheerful the way he likes it. But I could see that he's really very sorry and sad. It touched me when he even came up to the coach, handed me a bottle of sprite and gave me a kiss on my forehead. I knew it was his way of trying of saying "Sorry". That bottle of Sprite was precious to me, and I hugged it to sleep when I dozed off in the coach.

He called me when I was at the airport and talked to me as he knew I would be bored waiting for hours. We could joke and laugh, but I still knew the wound hasn't healed for me. We got into a serious talk after a while, and it made me feel really bad when the call ended. It was the first time I told him that this dispute made me lose faith in our relationship and drastically disappointed in him.

I couldn't sleep much in the plane as I thought about us over and over again.

I missed him very badly. It was more than what I thought. And we had a webcam session when I was home. He was extremely happy and excited to see me. My poor boy looked terrible on the webcam. It was no wonder why his Mum kept asking if he was alright. His eyes looked so swollen. My mum was so curious at how he looked like and kept peeping. And was really curious about what we were chatting about too, especially when she saw us both laughing non stop.

And he called me in Singapore too! Had a good 25 mins chat with him...and I feel so much better now. The best thing is we have decided to close this issue and put it behind us. :)

Glad that it's finally over and I can start smiling again.