Self-reflection

I haven't been good despite being told patiently to be. And I do feel guilty about it.

My boy made delicious dinner for me last night. Pig's liver, fried pasta, and milk congee. Pig's liver because I needed iron since it's the time of the month. Milk congee because I'm ill and it's nutritious. It was his first time making those things, and it was my first time trying milk congee. It tasted like Quaker Oats, except it was rice instead of oats. The thought of it is gross, but it was quite nice after putting sugar into it. I didn't eat much at all, not because the food wasn't nice, but because I wasn't feel well.

I have been horrible for not realising that his gastritis was acting up throughout the night, and he did not tell me so that I will not worry and let him prepare dinner. I only realise it when he started popping pills again after dinner and was sweating.

Then later in the evening, my fever started again, and he came to see me. He looked like he was in worst state than me, but told me he was alright. He made sure I ate all my medicine again, put me to sleep and covered me with layers of blanket. I should have just let him go back and sleep, but I asked if he could stay till I dozed off, which he agreed. And I forgot completely that his tummy was still hurting.

He refused to let me take the blankets away and even turned up the heater to its max because he wanted me to sweat everything out. It was the fastest way to get well, but I felt so uncomfortable that I started feeling agitated and kept kicking blankets away. And each time I do so, he'll cover me up again.

Me: Can you please take the blankets away? Please...
CG: I will do so after u are sweating. I don't want you to fall really ill.
Me: But I'm very stuffed up...it's torturing.
CG: I know. I am feeling very hot too. Why do u think I am still wearing my sweater when I'm sweating like crazy here?
Me: *touches his forehead* You're sweating. Take your sweater off.
CG: No. I know you're feeling terrible because you're ill. I know you are having a hard time, and cursing at me for wrapping you up when u're hot. I just want to go through it with you.

I felt guilty for a moment, but being rebellious me, I kicked the blankets away after a while again.

He went back before I dozed off. I think he was disappointed, even though he claimed he was not. I wonder how is he now. I'm worried.

Good thing is I am feeling much better now. I hope my fever won't start up again. Shall go and check if he's ok now.