At least now I know

I feel better after letting everything go last night.

And I have to thank "you" for it. Thanks for telling me "the thing" which forced me to think.

Probably you didn't realise it, but it did make me realise how much and how long I have been running away from this heart-breaking issue. Even though it isn't going to make a difference to my current status or what actions I wanna take (or hope to take) to revive a dead plant, at least I feel glad that I know clearly where I am standing. Not far from the starting point, but at least I know I have taken a few steps forward and have confirmed it.

You are right. I am in control. I have to get out of this tunnel myself. Slowly..gradually..but I will reach the exit and welcome what the exit has in store for me. I hope..one day I can tell u, myself and everyone one firmly "I am out completely." and all ready to accept the bits of life I have lost, sacrificed or neglected for so long.

I hope I didn't make u upset or disappointed in the process. I really appreciate the daily care and concern u gave me, especially over the past month. Thanks for your maturity, thanks for your patience, thanks for your understanding, thanks for the every little thing u did.