Don't know what I'm feeling

I think Clayton's right. I am stressed, without myself realising it. Plus, with PMS accompanying it, it's no wonder why I've been so irritated easily and feeling very uneasy within me which I cannot explain. And also accounting to the uncomfortable feeling inside me which is disturbing my sleep...and and and...my everlasting weariness which doesn't seem to go away even if I sleep loads.

The only time when I finally realised "Yes, I am stressed" was when Dad called me to pass me a heart-comforting msg. Because the moment I heard his voice and when he talked to me, my tears rolled. They rolled not because I was sad, but because there is a weird feeling which I cannot describe...and I couldn't find a way to release it. I walked up and down non stop around my room, jumped ard, danced, but the feeling was still there. I just felt like screaming. Even naps didn't help. But when my tears rolled out, I felt much better. So...that was all I needed last night...just to hear anyone's voice to let my emotions go..

Called home reluctantly yesterday. I didn't lose my temper this week because...

Mum: Ay, your cousin finished her interview.....
(Before she could finish)
Me: Don't start ok. I don't want to know anything, and am not interested, so pls...
Mum: Oh ok...no problem.

I am so pleased I didn't bother giving her face by letting her go on abt it. I am feeling erm...dunno how to describe..here already, and definitely being absolutely pissed abt my Mum again this week isn't going to be a good thing, since my exam is super close. I don't want anymore distractions.

My mind's in a complete blank now. Contradictingly, it feels saturated as well. I should be shooing off to bed, but I don't know why I just feel like staying up. I don't know what else to do though. I don't wish to look at my books too.

I don't know what's gonna happen on my exam day. Everything's unpredictable. I hope I'll be able to make it through...praying very very hard. (Suddenly, I am missing the phone calls I used to receive before every exam last year...with the voice on the other side telling me that I have done my best, I will be fine...and it's the process of it all that is most impt, not the result. Each time I receive the call, I know I'm not alone anymore.)