Today, Dearie was very stressed from work. In fact, I haven't seen him being as carefree and as happy as how he was before for quite some time. Things got slightly better though, but it still wasn't the same as before. But ever since he started work last week, his mood plunged again.
It has been quite a while since he last taken it out on me, but because he isn't in his best mood, we haven't been talking as much as before. Hogging on the phone is still our daily practice, but there's less to talk about, hence, quite a number of silent moments.
I didn't feel good when I knew he had a bad day at work, and didn't feel any better when he got frustrated over the fact that he's got to work overnight again tomorrow (and his company doesn't pay overtime). We spoke very very little to each other online because he seems busy all the time, and I didn't want to be a pain.
I was quite pleased when he told me why he's fed up with his job, and I do understand why he's so. Who wouldn't be if u were given some position, yet doing jobs which isn't what the position states? The things which he's doing is important in his field, but they are "specialties" which he doesn't take an interest in.
I am worried that he'll quit soon. Honestly, I would be supportive of it if he can find a job easily, but jobs are not easy to come by these days. Also, many jobs in the market confers a person a certain position, but the duties are usually not one would expect. I am worried that if he changes jobs and realise that other companies expect him to do similar jobs as this current one and keep quitting again and again, there's nothing gained except having time wasted and having the CV marred.
If we're from the same country, probably I wouldn't be so bothered abt it. We've made plans, and after all that has happened throughout our years together, I have set my mind to press on. Maybe it's because I am holding high hopes towards this rship, that's why I keep feeling insecure. I've placed a very heavy bet this time, and I don't know what impact it will have on me if it all fails at the end.
Perhaps I was being very selfish since I was being more concerned about how not to lose this gamble I've taken, by worrying about how long he's ever going to take to reunite with me in Sg if he keeps changing jobs and how we're going to make our dream come true, rather than giving him the type of support he needs.
Being a complete IT idiot, when he went on telling me about his problems with his field, I wasn't able to comprehend. I actually got very confused and lost, yet I didn't dare to tell him, fearing that he'll lose his temper. When I was just listening and being unable to give comments, he wasn't pleased abt me being quiet. If I were to say something, he says he feels more stressed after talking to me. No matter how I react, it doesn't please him.
Whenever I get into this situation with him, a miserable and helpless feeling gets me. Dearie said he just asks for me to understand, and I swear I am doing that, yet nothing pleases him. I have no idea if I had done anything wrong.
This seems like a gap between us which I don't know how to bridge. This gap makes me feel like a completely useless gf. It makes me ponder if I'm the one for him. I can't help think that maybe another person who is familar with his field is more suited to be his gf. All I want to do is just run away when I meet this gap since I'm at my wit's end about handling this problem.
I'm just never good enough, am I?
It has been quite a while since he last taken it out on me, but because he isn't in his best mood, we haven't been talking as much as before. Hogging on the phone is still our daily practice, but there's less to talk about, hence, quite a number of silent moments.
I didn't feel good when I knew he had a bad day at work, and didn't feel any better when he got frustrated over the fact that he's got to work overnight again tomorrow (and his company doesn't pay overtime). We spoke very very little to each other online because he seems busy all the time, and I didn't want to be a pain.
I was quite pleased when he told me why he's fed up with his job, and I do understand why he's so. Who wouldn't be if u were given some position, yet doing jobs which isn't what the position states? The things which he's doing is important in his field, but they are "specialties" which he doesn't take an interest in.
I am worried that he'll quit soon. Honestly, I would be supportive of it if he can find a job easily, but jobs are not easy to come by these days. Also, many jobs in the market confers a person a certain position, but the duties are usually not one would expect. I am worried that if he changes jobs and realise that other companies expect him to do similar jobs as this current one and keep quitting again and again, there's nothing gained except having time wasted and having the CV marred.
If we're from the same country, probably I wouldn't be so bothered abt it. We've made plans, and after all that has happened throughout our years together, I have set my mind to press on. Maybe it's because I am holding high hopes towards this rship, that's why I keep feeling insecure. I've placed a very heavy bet this time, and I don't know what impact it will have on me if it all fails at the end.
Perhaps I was being very selfish since I was being more concerned about how not to lose this gamble I've taken, by worrying about how long he's ever going to take to reunite with me in Sg if he keeps changing jobs and how we're going to make our dream come true, rather than giving him the type of support he needs.
Being a complete IT idiot, when he went on telling me about his problems with his field, I wasn't able to comprehend. I actually got very confused and lost, yet I didn't dare to tell him, fearing that he'll lose his temper. When I was just listening and being unable to give comments, he wasn't pleased abt me being quiet. If I were to say something, he says he feels more stressed after talking to me. No matter how I react, it doesn't please him.
Whenever I get into this situation with him, a miserable and helpless feeling gets me. Dearie said he just asks for me to understand, and I swear I am doing that, yet nothing pleases him. I have no idea if I had done anything wrong.
This seems like a gap between us which I don't know how to bridge. This gap makes me feel like a completely useless gf. It makes me ponder if I'm the one for him. I can't help think that maybe another person who is familar with his field is more suited to be his gf. All I want to do is just run away when I meet this gap since I'm at my wit's end about handling this problem.
I'm just never good enough, am I?
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