So much for planning

I dragged my annual leave application because I wanted to wait for his return so that I can spend it fully with him.

I spent months sourcing for places because I know by the time he returns, it'll be too late for real planning.

I was excited. I was so looking forward to it.

But now, I feel like a complete idiot. I have no idea why I bothered to make plans for us. I don't know why I chose to spend my annual leave with him, when I could just be utterly selfish and care only abt spending time with my family by going home.

This trip, to me, is a rare chance for us to spend quality time together and cast everything aside. It is an opportunity I treasure. To me, it's a trip to celebrate our belated 2nd anniversary and therefore, means a lot. But I think it's probably only me who is thinking that way, because I'm the only one feeling excited abt it all.

I'm disappointed and upset since I'm the person planning, sourcing and booking everything, while Dearie doesn't even care much. All he does everyday is just surfing for jobs and websites that interests him or to upgrade his computer. It hurts very badly to be left alone to do these things when it's supposed to be a 2-person thing...and what more..an anniversary trip..not a "Michelle wants a trip..so I'm tagging along" excursion.

Dearie said before that he knows how hurt I am abt numerous things, and will try very hard to make it up, but these few days just proved to me that they're all honeyed words.

I'm sick and tired of all this..and to be honest, I dont think I'll want to plan another trip with him. Maybe it's only right that I become selfish and care more abt myself and my family before him. It's just not worth it at all.