I shouldn't have...

I threw tantrums again because I am pissed off with revision. Pissed off about not having much of a life. Pissed off about why I'm doing this. Pissed off about why I had to make myself go through all this shit when I could have done something else and lead a simpler and easier life.

I guess the stress of exams are causing all this. I have been getting weird medical dreams. My mind doesn't even rest when I'm asleep! I dreamt of how to do interrupted suturing, colorectal cancer (even had barium enema xrays included), history taking etc etc.

I also lost the excitement about food, partly because I don't know what to have for meals. Dearie was kind enough to cook our dinner tonight, but I was horrid by giving a sulky face and telling him that I have no appetite. It must have hurt him, because he said "You don't have many chances left to eat the food I cook for you".

That hit me real hard. And that sentence is still haunting me now. Indeed, I don't have many chances left, and I am still grumbling and fussing like a bitch.