Saturday evening

It wasn't a pleasant one. I was very quiet the whole evening.

Family gathering today at Granny's. Granny made lots of dishes because she prayed today to the ancestors. So she invited everyone back for dinner. I was quite sianz about it, but told myself that I shall just be nice. When Mum was feeling so pleased about everyone being together for dinner & how happy Granny will be, made me guilty.

On the way there, my brother was telling my parents and I about his "stroke of genius" invention, which I felt was illogical. Gave my comment and he started yelling and screaming upon hearing criticisms. It made me really pissed cos I see no idea why he had to yell at me over a minor issue. If he doesn't like to be criticised since he always claim that he's in the Director's List in his course, then why bother talking about it?! And he claims that he knows design better than anyone, but hey..which company would wanna patent a product when they know it's not gonna be practical?

I was already quite mad at the fact for his yelling, and the final straw was when he had to talk something which should not be mentioned. I know he did it to hurt me, and since that was his purpose, he succeeded. When he yelled at me about that issue, I kept quiet on the spot, and lost my mood completely. I tried to hold back my tears, but was in vain, so I ended up sneaking to the toilet and sat in there for quite some time. Only came out when I realised I've been in there for too long. Besides, I could hear my relatives asking around where I am, so I needed to wash my face and go for dinner before someone comes banging on the toilet door.

I dare not look at my relatives when I went to the dining table. I'm sure my aunt saw my red eyes, but she didn't probe me about it. Good thing I escaped from Dad's sharp eyes though. Grabbed my food and gave the excuse that I'll watch TV while eating, when the truth was...I didn't wanna end up crying on the dining table.

I was very cold to Granny when she kept asking me if I wanted more food. I wished so much for her to just take my 'NO' as an answer and stop coming near me, fearing that she'll see my red eyes.

My brother knew why I cried and even had the guts to say " Chey..say only you also must cry". I got more pissed. It was bad enough that he said things which shouldn't be said. And instead of apologising, he had to say more to make me more angry.

The whole night I ignored him. Wasn't interested to listen to him in the car when he was talking to me too. And when he kindly came to my room to ask if I wanted to watch DVD with him and my parents, I kept my reply to all his questions brief, and that's that.

My brother's a great person, but sometimes he should know what to say and what not to say. It isn't the first time he has said things which hurt me..and he does it very often too. He does it anyone around him in fact, even to my parents. He knows exactly the things which when said, will hurt me the most, so he does it everytime when we argue or when he's in a foul mood. I forgave him once, forgave him twice..forgave him so many times till I lost count. But today, I think enough's enough.

If a person doesn't know how to say "Sorry" sincerely for a mistake he/she made, then I think he/she is a disgrace to mankind. Apparently, my brother thinks too highly of himself that for every mistake he makes, he NEVER apologises even if he knows for a fact that he's wrong.

I don't have to be extra nice to him anyway. And there's no logical reason to why I have to see his face, and treat him as a lord.

"Don't be petty lah Michelle. He's your brother. He's still young." I'm sure Mum will say this when she notices that I'm refusing to acknowledge his presence. What rubbish! Even a 3 year old should say "Sorry" for a mistake done. And unfortunately, I'm one picky person when it comes to this. My brother's no exception. Basic manners manz!!! Period.