Be confident! Be Confident!!!!

I guess I must be feeling stressed up without realising it very much because I have been having problems with my sleep for the past few nights despite feeling extremely tired. And last night, I had nightmares. Well..it's a nightmare because I dreamt of clinical examination sequences. I remember myself going "Apex beat..tapping..mitral stenosis....heaves..thrills...1HS, 2HS, murmurs" in my dream..and I actually "watched" myself doing it. My goodness....how bad can this get? And if just on the cardio was not enuff, I actually continued dreaming abt the lungs, abdomen and even on the brain! I wonder if I sleep talk while in dreamland last night. I got up in a shock so many times last night, and hence, I self-declared holiday today..haha..didn't go to the hospital...darn..I'm horrid.

I did some intensive studying on Neuro examination again. What a torture. I was looking expressionless when I was cooking in the kitchen. Then my housemate asked me about my revision. I told him I'm having a nasty time with revising neuro examination, and his reply was "NEURO IS SO EASY!!!!! how can u have a bad time with it? if u test me now...i bet u i won't miss a thing!" (hmm..thanks ah...). So much for that comment. I felt very stupid upon hearing that cos...why do ppl think it's easy when I am having a hard time? I started testing him on it, and he didn't seem to know it as well as I do...and told me to lie my way through if I'm tested...(I'm wondering how long one can lie thru in medicine).

That's the problem with me manz. I tend to look damn stupid in front of people, and I do think I'm stupid too. I seem to have loads to ask, and sometimes some sickening Registrars just refuse to answer my questions, but ask me go check it out myself. And I don't talk much when the docs teach me too, while my other classmates talk loads to show that they know. Hence, I look stupid in a way, and if I do miss a point, I tend to think I'm stupid as well. What the hell is wrong with me? Am I really that dumb I wonder..

I need a dosage of confidence boost :(

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Checked out the Sg Arts Fest webby which Darren gave. Wah liew..cool manz! There's gonna be Swan Lake in June!!!!!! Gosh..I wanna watch it. I reckon it's gonna be good. Tickets are expensive though since I'm such a fussy person and always wanna go for the best tix.

Heard from Darren that I'll be able to watch PCK the Musical too...lol. I wanna watch that too!!!!!

Sheesh..I wish I'm back in Sg now manz...argh. Can't wait to go back cos I spotted so many interesting performances from the Sistic site. I'm gonna miss Madame Butterfly's performance. What a waste! I just love that one so much! The one I saw in UK was unforgettable.

And also, Josh's gonna have a performance in May too. I wonder if I'll be able to attend. Cantopop performance. He's been pestering me numerous times about it manz (until I get quite irritated). I hope I'll be able to be back in time to watch him perform.

Is there anyone who wanna go with me to watch any/all of the above performances? Let me know ok? Please don't end up letting me watch them myself...lol....do me a favour by accompanying me?