Sinful me...huo gai..

I did something so terribly sinful today. I went to invade someone's privacy, and got him really really really disappointed. For the first time, I actually saw him talking to me looking extremely serious and I knew it wasn't funny. And the worst thing was I was wrong for invading his privacy, but I actually got upset over what I found out.

I'm horrible hor? If I could turn back time, I wouldn't want to know.

Anyway, just in one day, I committed 2 serious offences. First was what I mentioned above, the other was using vulgarities. It was unintentional, but I didn't know he took it very seriously and got really offended, just that he didn't say anything.

At the end of the day, I'm just filled with guilt manz. Feels so terrible even till now....bbbbbaaaaahhhhhhhhh~~~~~~. Someone pls kill me...

I might still have a chance to save this rship, but now I think I've ruined it completely. Honestly speaking, I'm really not what I am..as in what I did today. But I don't think I can convince him..besides..how long does he know me? I guess to him, I'm just a girl who doesn't know what's respecting someone's privacy and a girl who scolds vulgarities often.

I feel damn bad using that word in his presence. If I had never used that word on Jason except once, why did I use it so easily on him? I never even said it to people I hate too, but why did I say it to him?! What's going on with me manz....argh...

I just wish this was all a nightmare...

If anything happens...I have myself to blame manz. I really hope he changes his impression of me soon...not gonna be easy though...sigh...

And....I do not agree with him...cannot agree too that I shouldn't go for a opinionated guy. I know firmly what I want. I'm sure he said that cos he doesnt know me in and out yet...

How come no one really understands how I'm really really like....? This is so exhausting....I wish I never set my mind to taking this one so seriously....my fall wouldnt be this bad then...I would probably take it very lightly...

Others say "Once bitten, twice shy". I was bitten once, and I should have been smart enuff to keep a distance to prevent myself from getting hurt, but I don't know why I haven't learnt my lesson.