Medical Notes

Shall share some funny stuffs I read today...these were actual things written in medical notes...

1. Exam of genitalia (private parts) reveals that he is circus sized (gosh..how huge is that?!)

2. The skin is moist and dry (????)

3. Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid (wah...if it reaches the rectum ever...it should be in the Guiness Book of World Record..manz..his neck must be really strong to hold that weight)

4. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce (hahahaaha.....marriage related..)

5. Patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed

6. Patient lives at home with mother, father and pet turtle who is presently enrolled in day care 3 times a week (goodness! even pets get pet-sitting?!)

7. Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles (how much blood does the patient have??!)

8. While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home (hahahahah)

9. Patient was alert and unresponsive (meaning?)

10. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room

11. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night (WAH!!!!)

12. On the 2nd day, the knee was better, and on the 3rd day it disappeared (Oh knee..where are u?)

13. Patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993 (clearly the patient doesn't like seeing u....lol)

14. The patient refused autopsy (duh?! why would any alive ass want an autopsy?)

15. Patient left white blood cells at another hospital (hahahaa...must be super prone of infections now...nil immunity)

16. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accomodation (hahaha...i would like to see how the boobs react to light...do they shun?)

17. Skin: somewhat pale but present (wouldn't it scare u to see a skinless patient?)

18. Patient has 2 teenage children, but no other abnormalities (so it's abnormal to have 2 teens at home?)

19. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function (gosh..we're in a really advanced era..do bring ur better half for a lab test)


*****For all I know, I might be one of those people who wrote one of the above down without realising...*********


Got more things to blog abt, but just had a short chat with Dearie which didn't turn out well. He's very very very sad after a major argument with his dad. Somehow, I know something isn't right..but he said he'll talk to me abt it another day. I think I can roughly guess.