I feel terribly shit now, in a shock, lost, confused..and the list goes on.

I do crave for some hugs and I'm pissed abt knowing that NOTHING...yes NOTHING in medicine (or life if u like it) is fair. And exams are just rubbish and useless and not a gauge of how well u r doing, and sadly, all that affects how u're gonna get a job and how others see u.

My grades for Paediatrics didn't go well, and I have absolutely no idea why. I am darn sure I DID WELL for it, and I normally know when I'm totally rubbish (like in Psych). It's scaring me now because I'm so worried I won't make it to the end when medical school is eagering trying to kick people out.

I'm so losing confidence in myself after this.

And it is affecting me such that I feel so sick about going to the wards in the afternoon. I know I have to just ignore it and get on with what I have to do, but I honestly feel like having a good cry and go to sleep, and that's something I don't want anyone here to know. (but my tears are abt to roll out anytime now)

It's always at times like this that I start thinking "I do hate medicine lots. To hell with it!"