I shouldn't have...

There are so many things I shouldn't have done today.

1. I should not have overslept, or else I won't miss a precious Jap lesson (JLPT's just abt a mth away)

2. I shouldn't have caught a glance at the date (before midnight). I didn't want to, and I just saw it accidentally. It didn't make me feel good at all.

3. I shouldn't have messaged some ppl, or else I probably won't start thinking if they still regarded me as a friend. But it's ok. I am already prepared to lose these friends when I took that move. No regrets though.

4. I shouldn't have looked into my MSN..and saw this nick my friend has put up. I could have gone to bed already..but why did I go and open up my list to see..what's there to look at anyway?


I feel very dead at the moment. My mind's not clear. I know what I'm thinking about. But I'm trying to brush it aside, but I know my heart's still there..somehow...or else I wouldn't be feeling this way.

It's gonna be the local unis' exam soon.

I can't think, apart from Pin Soon and my cousin Louis, who else is in NUS. But I can think of loads who are in NTU.

I'm sure it's a very stressful moment for my friends and for someone. They must be staying up till wee hours to revise. I hope they will excel in their coming exams. Good luck!

Honestly, I feel quite useless during this period. I think..exam's the time whereby people give one another support, and cheering one another on. I want to do my part by giving someone support too. There's just so much I wish I could do for him.

I wish I could...

Buy food for him
Cheer him up when he's down
Hold his hand and let him know I will be there, just like how he was for me during my exams
Wish his good luck before all his papers
Calm his nerves if he needs me to
Make him smile

It feels bad knowing that I can wish anyone the best of luck, except him. I haven't, and am not able to do anything, not even the slightest bit. Cos I'm afraid..very afraid that anything I do will anger him. I really don't mean it and I don't want to affect him. I want the best for him. Does he know how I'm feeling?

I hope he's well. I hope his revision is going fine. I hope he will keep calm and excel in his exams. I hope he will keep my ring with the other 2 he treasure. I hope he will know that I will always be there..to cheer him on...through every obstacle he faces...

"I know you don't read my blog anymore. But Jason, here's me wishing you good luck for your exams. Do your very best. I'll be supporting you silently always..."