Life after Marriage

I blogged this afternoon after having my morning chat with my parents in the dining area, but somehow there was a problem with loading it, so I'll blog again plus what I just did this afternoon and evening.

I woke up very late today. 11+am. Dad came to my room earlier..ard 9-ish to see if I've woken up, but I couldn't even open my eyes, and continued slping. I had dreams last night. I haven't slept peacefully for some time. Been having very realistic dreams, which I don't remember much when I wake up, but it's good in a way. I realise I only remember the moral of the dream. Are they telling me something? I remember one very clearly, and the moment I got up after dreaming of it that day, I decided to get busy, hence, I went to search the papers for things to do. I actually had a dream and sleep talk on Friday night. It's weird that I know I sleep talk because I tend to wake up while talking and then realise it. I thought Jason might have heard me slp talking, but when I opened my eyes, he was sound aslp next to me, so I went back to slp again.

Anyway, back to the topic. I got up when I knew what time it was, and went downstairs to see what my parents are up to. Sat down at the dining table and ate some biscuits. It was then my parents started talking to me about life after marriage. Dad talked to me about how a girl should behave as a wife and a daughter-in-law, family values, and any topics related to marriage. It's odd and I think I might know the reason why they suddenly brought this up. I'm thankful that they didn't ask me the question or interrogate me about some personal issues. Somehow, I've got a feeling they do know a little and are dropping hints to see if I get them..or perhaps I'm getting a little oversensitive. I think they are not surprised if I tell them I wanna get engaged..got a feeling they are expecting it. I'm tempted, but too bad, I don't have any ability to do so..besides, they might disagree as I'm only 22. Too young isn't it?

There's nothing to do today. Usual family day, but it's enjoyable enough to be able to spend them with Dad and Mum. Went to Sakae Sushi for lunch. Then to town to walk around. I suggested that as I didn't want to go home. Yah, very unlike me isn't it?

I haven't been wanting to stay at home much recently. I've been asking some people out, but everyone's busy, so I'll go out alone. I dunno why I'm wanting to go out and to be honest, I enjoy the feeling of coming home feeling extremely tired and then sleep after washing up. I won't have much time to think of things, and I tend to indulge in music when I'm on the bus or MRT too. In my own world. And each time I start having my mind wandering into a world of thoughts, I'll distract myself and look around to see others around me. It's fun at times, but it's not very these days. I know the reason why I don't want to stay at home and why I want to feel very tired at the end of each day.

Maybe I'm still too free, but I do see some improvements. I'm talking more to people on my MSN list, like to softball, leona etc. When my language classes start, then it'll be more things for me. However, somehow I still don't think that's enough. I want to do more. Best if it keeps me busy everyday except weekends.

Went to Takashimaya..and cos Dad wanted to take a look at the C-Pen, we went to the Popular at Orchard MRT station. I was curious abt that pen, and wanted to find out how much it was. It's $500+!!!!! Ok, not enuff $ to buy it for Jason...

I bought a cheap file for my classes next week. Dad bought a few books, while Mum (the typical housewife) bought a recipe book. It's on Nonya food I think..looks like she's gonna whip up a few more delicious dishes, of which I'll be one of the guinea pigs. I don't mind of course.

Had a drink at Mac's cos I was thirsty. Dad and Mum were sitting down and talking to each other. I tried the Lemon Lime juice. Not bad. Mum said it's rich in Vitamin C. Good. I'll need it..my immune system's always been weak and it's good for skin too.

My mood kinda changed halfway through and I wasn't in the mood to walk around anymore. My parents thought might as well go home, and cos we were too lazy to walk one big round to go to the lift, we cut through Delifrance and oh manz, Dad bumped into his friend. Dad seems to have a wide social circle. He bumps into business associates and pals everywhere he goes. That guy's son is yandao manz. Ok lah, caught my attention, but cos I wasn't in a good mood, I just smiled at Dad's pal and his wife and left. Didn't bother looking much at their son.

I just don't understand why Mummy has such a weak bladder. She goes to the toilet so often. Nope, she's not diabetic..just that I think she can't control her bladder. So I waited for her at the toilet and after that, when my parents and I were heading for the lift, bumped into that family again. I noticed the son was smiling at me. But cos I'm not feeling very good, I just gave a slight smile and turned away. Rude huh? He looked like as if he wanted to say Hi. I could just be friendlier and say Hi, but really no mood. Don't get a wrong idea that I wanna say Hi cos he's yandao and around my age. Even if he's average, I will say Hi too cos he doesn't seem the unfriendly sort..at least he bothered to give me a very nice smile.

I was feeling unhappy about something and kept real quiet in the car. My parents noticed and ask what happened. Just told them some of my problems, and they tried to cheer me up. Mum told Dad to give his views as women and men may think differently, and they were hoping to help me by giving me some pointers. But before Dad could say anything, I said something mean. I just said, "Guys are all the same...wats the point of asking?" I shouldn't have said that huh? I must have accidentally hurt Dad's feelings. Sorry Daddy.

Mum kept discussing the problems I have or kept in me. I didn't tell her everything, and I didn't want to talk tooooo much about it too. But I'm sure she know I wasn't feeling alright. I went back to room without saying anything once I got home. She came up after a while, and she knew I was crying even though I wiped my tears away before I went to open my door. My eyes were a little red I suppose. I told her I didn't want dinner because I don't have much of an appetite, and she wanted me to go out for dinner, just to avoid making Dad disappointed. Just obliged, but I didn't eat much.

Jap classes start tmr. Can't wait. But it's only 3 hours. I wish it was the whole day manz. Still got a while more to bed time. If only time pass faster now. I just wanna take my med and slp till tmr...I don't want to think anymore...