I must try to survive..

I am still ill. The fever has more or less subsided, but my tummy is still hurting. Took some medicine, visited the toilet twice for massive diarrhoea, but it still doesn't help very much. Reckon it's my IBS working up again, and with body heatiness...it's screwing up my system. Really hope I'll get better soon.

I stayed at home the whole day. Slept early and woke up early. My sleep last night wasn't too bad, even though I got up several times because I wasn't feeling well.

Spent the day chatting with my friends. I miss them.

Am feeling a bit sad at the moment as memories of what my life was like for the past 4 yrs have been running through my head. Yes, away with the past and I should throw every single memory aside. I'm trying very hard. Like what others have been reminding me..it's only 2 more years. I know it seems as though it'll be over very soon, but if u're in my position, u'll know why I am feeling this way.

Been thinking about how I can make my life better. I should go out more, try to make friends, sleep earlier, wake up earlier and try to take things easy (I wonder how I'm gonna do the last one).

Watching my friends slowly succeeding in life makes me really happy for them, yet at the same time, I'm wondering if I can be as successful as them. Sometimes, I do need someone close to me, someone I can fully place my trust on, to tell me I'll be fine..I'll make it...and get me up on my feet again when I'm tired and sick of moving.

Being overseas alone is a struggle when you don't have friends...friends who are close to you..friends who u know will stand by you no matter what happens. It'll be an experience I'll never forget. And it does feel quite bad watching how Michelle's bf was helping her carry stuffs and showering her with care and concern from the airport to Cardiff. I was envious. I'm not envious abt her having someone carrying her luggages, but envious of her being able to look forward to something in UK, being able to go shopping happily hand-in-hand with him, being able to care and be concerned about someone who appreciates her effort and who cares abt her as much too, someone near to her, someone spending weekends with her. For a moment, I wished I was in her position...sigh.

Oh well..since I'm so unwanted and all left alone, I shall try to see things from another way. Trying to console myself that I'll emerge to be more independent, and if I make it through my overseas education all alone, it's something I can be very proud of. I must try to survive.